SEXUAL ISSUES IN CLINICAL PRACTICE FORUM ARCHIVE
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Re: abstinence
Monica · 11/15/99 at 1:41 pm ET
Sorry to disagree with you, but I think that for a sixteen-year-old (or younger) that sex IS dangerous. A 16-year-old is still a child, and as a child, is wont to try things that they are not ready for. Sex is one of those things. besides the more serious dangers of STD's and pregnancy (both of which can permanently impact a young person's life) there are the less obvious dangers to learning how to form meaningful relationships.
One of the big problems to surface lately is very young girls (ages 12-14) becoming sexually involved with "boys" that are several years older. This represents a huge power differential, much like the one that exists between client and counselor. A young girl is easily persuaded to do somehting not in her best interests when it is presented by an older boy who charms her by telling her what she wants to hear.
Even outside of this disparate situation, teens who engage in sex often shortcircuit the development of real emotional closeness. Sex can feel like closeness, but too often it eclipses the possibility of developing a relationship.
And, as far as sex education, you can tell teens all they need to know about "safe"sex, contraceptives and the like, but due to the developmental phenomenon of a teen's sense of imperviousness and immortality (it won't happen to me) teens too often ignore all the information they get from us "un-fun" adults. There was recently a program on PBS that addressed the phenomenon of teen sexual behaviors, and how much of a social expectation it has become to have sex with a boyfriend. All of the girls interviewed expressed regret for having engaged in sex at such a young age, it seemed for emotional reasons.
There is NEVER any reason for an unmarried economically dependent teen to be having sex. I stand by my position that teens need to be given permission to say "no" until such a time they feel they are ready and are consenting without coercion or unhealthy persuasion.
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