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    Re: abstinence
    Monica · 11/15/99 at 1:41 pm ET

    Sorry to disagree with you, but I think that for a sixteen-year-old (or younger) that sex IS dangerous. A 16-year-old is still a child, and as a child, is wont to try things that they are not ready for. Sex is one of those things. besides the more serious dangers of STD's and pregnancy (both of which can permanently impact a young person's life) there are the less obvious dangers to learning how to form meaningful relationships.
    One of the big problems to surface lately is very young girls (ages 12-14) becoming sexually involved with "boys" that are several years older. This represents a huge power differential, much like the one that exists between client and counselor. A young girl is easily persuaded to do somehting not in her best interests when it is presented by an older boy who charms her by telling her what she wants to hear.
    Even outside of this disparate situation, teens who engage in sex often shortcircuit the development of real emotional closeness. Sex can feel like closeness, but too often it eclipses the possibility of developing a relationship.
    And, as far as sex education, you can tell teens all they need to know about "safe"sex, contraceptives and the like, but due to the developmental phenomenon of a teen's sense of imperviousness and immortality (it won't happen to me) teens too often ignore all the information they get from us "un-fun" adults. There was recently a program on PBS that addressed the phenomenon of teen sexual behaviors, and how much of a social expectation it has become to have sex with a boyfriend. All of the girls interviewed expressed regret for having engaged in sex at such a young age, it seemed for emotional reasons.
    There is NEVER any reason for an unmarried economically dependent teen to be having sex. I stand by my position that teens need to be given permission to say "no" until such a time they feel they are ready and are consenting without coercion or unhealthy persuasion.

    Replies:
    • Thatīs what education is all about!, by JoseīRibeiro, 11/16/99
      • Re: Thatīs what education is all about!, by Monica, 11/16/99
        • Re: Thatīs what education is all about!, by josé ribeiro, 11/17/99
          • Re: Thatīs what education is all about!, by Monica, 11/17/99
            • Re: relationships and sexuality , by josé ribeiro, 11/18/99
              • Re: relationships and sexuality , by Monica, 11/18/99
    • Re: abstinence , by Kimberly, 4/6/00
      • Re: abstinence , by Monica, 4/6/00
      • Re: abstinence , by Sean M. Benedict, 4/8/00
        • Re: abstinence , by Kimberly, 4/8/00
          • Re: abstinence , by Sean M. Benedict, 4/9/00
            • Re: abstinence , by Monica, 4/10/00
            • Re: abstinence , by Kimberly, 4/10/00
              • Christian Counselor, by Marty Klein, Ph.D, 4/11/00
                • Re: Christian Counselor, by Kimberly, 4/26/00
                  • Re: Christian Counselor, by Monica, 4/28/00
                  • Re: Christian Counselor, by Kimberly, 5/2/00
                  • Re: Christian Counselor, by Sean M. Benedict, 5/4/00
                  • Re: Christian Counselor, by Kimberly, 5/7/00
                  • Re: Christian Counselor, by jacksteel50@yahoo.com, 05/07/01
                  • Re: "Grow Spiritually"?, by A.Quest, Ph.D., 07/26/00
                  • Re: Spiritual Growth?, by Jane, 07/27/00
                  • Re: Spiritual Growth?, by A.Quest, 07/27/00
                  • Re: Spiritual Growth?, by Jane, 07/27/00
                  • Re: Spiritual Growth?, by A. Quest, 07/27/00
                  • Re: Spiritual Growth?, by Jane, 07/27/00
                  • Re: Spiritual Growth?, by A. Quest, Ph.D., 07/27/00
                  • Re: Spiritual Growth?, by Jane, 07/27/00
                  • Re: Spiritual Growth?, by MOnica, 07/29/00
                  • Re: Skepticism Is Not Cynicism, by A. Quest, Ph.D., 07/29/00
                  • Re: Skepticism Is Not Cynicism, by Heather, 07/30/00
                  • Re: Skepticism Is Not Cynicism, by Quest, 07/31/00
                  • To Dr. Quest, by Monica, 07/31/00
                  • Re:To Dr. Quest, by Quest, 07/31/00
                  • Re: To Dr. Quest, by Quest, 07/31/00
                  • Clients' beliefs and values, by Heather, 08/02/00
                  • Re: Clients' beliefs and values, by Quest (Still Here), 08/02/00
                  • Re: Spiritual Growth?, by More Quest, 07/29/00
                  • Re: Spiritual Growth?, by Jane, 07/30/00
                  • Re: Spiritual Growth?, by Lindsay Smith, 04/28/01
                  • Trying to Make Effable the Ostensibly Ineffable , by Quest, 04/29/01
                  • Re:Trying to Make Effable the Ostensibly Ineffable , by Jane, 05/02/01
                  • Re:Trying to Make Effable the Ostensibly Ineffable , by Quest, 05/03/01
                  • Re:Trying to Make Effable the Ostensibly Ineffable , by , 05/04/01
                  • Re:Trying to Make Effable the Ostensibly Ineffable , by Jane, 05/04/01
                  • Woops...I used ambiguous phrasing, by Quest, 05/05/01
                  • MEDITATION & SPIRITUALITY, by Lindsay Smith, 09/01/01
                  • Re:MEDITATION & SPIRITUALITY, by Lindsay Smith, 09/02/01
                  • Crazy Horse for PResident!!, by Monica, 07/31/00
                  • be careful of assumptions, by Marty Klein, 08/01/00
                  • Re:be careful of assumptions, by Monica, 08/02/00
                  • Re:be careful of assumptions, by Quest Again, 08/02/00
                  • Raspberries!!, by Monica, 08/03/00
                  • Reply, by Quest, 08/04/00
                  • "Spititual Growth"--Still Reading, by Jane, 08/04/00
                  • Re:Correction, by Jane, 08/04/00
                  • Re:, by Lindsay Smith, 04/28/01
                  • Re:Raspberries!!, by Jane, 08/04/00
                  • Re:Raspberries!!, by Monica, 08/10/00
                  • Re: Beside the Point, by Quest, 08/10/00
                  • Re: Spiritual Growth?, by Dr. Barbara Young, 02/01/01
        • Re: abstinence , by Dog, 4/8/00
          • Re: abstinence , by dog, 4/9/00
            • Re: abstinence , by Monica, 4/11/00
              • Re: abstinence , by dog, 4/11/00
                • Re: abstinence , by Monica, 4/11/00
                  • Re: abstinence & partner age differences, by Heather, 4/13/00
                  • Re: abstinence & partner age differences, by Monica, 4/13/00
                  • Re: abstinence & partner age differences, by Alex., 5/7/00
                  • Re: abstinence & partner age differences, by Sean M. Benedict, 5/8/00
                  • Re: abstinence & partner age differences, by Monica, 5/8/00
                  • Re: abstinence & partner age differences, by Alex., 5/8/00
                  • marriage and life expectancy, by Alex., 5/8/00
                • Re: Thatīs a question of happiness!, by José Ribeiro, 4/18/00
                  • Re: Thatīs a question of happiness!, by Monica, 4/19/00

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