I wonder if all clients who are involved in extramarital affairs should be counseled to end them? Is there ever a case when the affair could be considered beneficial. I'm not refering to the rare situation when a spouse is paralyzed, and the remaining spouse seeks a sexual relationship to remain in the marriage. I'm curious about emotional and sexual needs that are not fulfilled, and whether that always means that the person who seeks an affair partner is soing something reflecting pathology, disturbed object relations, etc. I guess the answer to my own question is the functionality of the person who chooses an affair, and the impact it has on that, and the functioning of their systems, family and work. When these are not impaired, I cannot in good conscience moralize against the affair, although often I think they are destructive to the primary, marital relationship. Just thinking out loud. Many of my colleagues disagree with me.
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