I recently found this discussion group and although I'm many months post-discussion on this one..I've learned over the years, through my own personal exploration as a clinician and fine mentoring that if we, as the clinician, has a strong reaction to something one way or the other, it is helpful to consider the countertransference issues involved. As a clinician doing conjoint work, both in marriages and other types of relationships, I am neutral in terms of my investment in the continuing or ending of the marriage. My goal is to guide and help each person seek congruence and reduce neurosis/potential neurosis and neurotic behavior. I tend to explore affairs from a developmental stance..often seeking information such as: 1. did the person having the affair disclose or get caught; 2. when in the marriage did the affair occur; 3. is there a pattern of affairs or is this an isolated incident. One of my objectives is to meet the client(s) where they are at and use the information to learn.
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