I'm curious - if your thought that he might be having fantasies about you was scarey, was it your fear that stopped you from using this question in a therapeutic way? Were you unsure of how to deal with it professionally and personally? Was it your fear about how you would respond as opposed to a fear about how the client would respond to the question. You had the "scarey" thought and, then, you proceed to justify/rationalize how to deal with it by wondering about the many ways the client would respond to the topic. Oh, and I'm not suggesting that you might somehow act on his fantasy, get involved with the client. Just that you are unsure of how to deal with a client having sexual fantasies about you. Not being critical here, just that this is what came to me as I read your post and I thought I'd give my feedback. Take what is useful and throw away the rest. I guess it depends on the client/therapist relationship and more besides. If my therapist were to ask me if I was having sexual fantasies about him I would be taken aback and would more than likely say no. I'd also say, that such a topic was not open for discussion. That is my own boundary setting. At the same time as I know my therapist, where he stands, what his boundaries are I would know that his question was asked with the intention of allowing me to talk and explore the issue of sexuality. It would also open the door for me to talk about sexual issues, I would know that the topic is not off limits and so on. Once I got over the initial shock of the question I might just talk about whether or not I have fantasies about him. However, knowing myself that would be unlikely. I do know that I would feel more comfortable talking about sexual issues. Again, though, I know my therapist and I know his boundaries. I also never sought therapy because I was having sexual fantasies I was feeling guilty about. However, my therapist has asked me questions in regards to sexuality/sexual issues and my reaction was initially a strong negative one. None of his business. Later, though, I was able to discuss my reaction and learn from it. So, I guess the therapist has to know the client, the client's concerns and be prepared to ask difficult questions when it seems appropriate.
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