Thank you for you reply, Marty. I would like to respond to each of your points: 1. I did not mean to insinuate that a clients sexual thoughts about a therapist are not relevant. As you point out they are. I have dealt with issues were a client for example, feels attracted to me and we have discussed this openly and constructively. Clients do wonder about their therapist and often ask personal questions. In such cases, I answer questions regarding my qualifications, my experience etc. and my personal life e.g. where I’m from, my name,if I have children etc. But as you are aware there are boundaries to self-disclosure and it needs to be appropriate in relation to the client. So each case differs and I try to be judicious. When I have sensed anger towards me, therapy or the client, again I have been able to discuss it - even if it makes me and the client uncomfortable, because the 'here and now ' I feel often provides the most valuable information. And this brings me to my point, when a client does or says something, or acts in a particular way that creates a hunch in me about a dynamic that may be going on - I address it. My client had stated, he fantasised about women he found sexually attractive and he did not do or say anything in therapy to make me think or feel that he was sexually attracted to me. My thought was based on the fact that I was 'a woman', sitting before him. To make an assumption that he might be sexually attracted to me - I felt was dubious. Thus my 'fear' of asking I think stemmed from the fact that I did not have enough of a hunch - based on my experience of therapy with him - to allow me to embark on such a conversation. If I was prejudiced, maybe it was because I felt uncomfortable introducing this topic, not discussing it. 2. Which takes me to your second point. How you phrased the way to talk about it, I found very helpful and just reading it put me at ease - thus it would do the same for a client. Thank you for the supervision. 3.Your analysis is spot on. At the end our sessions, I referred both of them to couple therapy were they could openly discuss dynamics in their relationship. My clients beliefs about being a 'bad' and 'selfish' person for fantasising had shifted enough by this point, to allow him to do this whilst feeling better about himself. Through counselling he found a more adaptive way to cope, not an answer to his 'Million dollar question' - should I commit or not?
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