I am informally counseling a married couple who are swingers. The initial decision to enter into this activity was made by the husband. The wife nearly always indicates that she makes all decisions on selecting her partners, but that is clearly not the case. He presents a "suggestion" and she agrees with it - that is the extent of her decision-making. There is no debate that he selects his own female partners. They both profess strong love for each other, and insist that no jealousy exists, since they are always both present while sexual activity takes place. I apologize for the length of this posting. I don't really understand all the implications of these two events, since they really do seem to be very happily married. She seems very strong-minded in her everyday life, but sexually she seems to enjoy being degraded - as if she was proving...
I can see no overt jealousy with regard to physical sex, but the husband is very sensitive about the wife becoming close friends with anyone without his approval. He also has her participate in events that I consider degrading to her, such as having her "perform" with five men at once. She insists that she found this very exciting and pleasurable, though I got the impression there was a degree of hesitancy in her remarks.
He also recently arranged for two other men and himself to simulate a rape with his wife while their faces were obscured with motorcycle helmets, not revealing his own identity until all three had had intercourse with her. She was physically held down by each man in turn while this took place. Afterward, he took off his helmet and laughed as if it was a joke. She admitted to me privately that she had been terrified of being hurt and was angry after her husband told her it was all a joke. However, this story had originally been told to me by the wife as if I would understand the joke.
what? I would appreciate any comments/insight this group can offer.
I apologize for the length of this posting. I don't really understand all the implications of these two events, since they really do seem to be very happily married. She seems very strong-minded in her everyday life, but sexually she seems to enjoy being degraded - as if she was proving...
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