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    Mature Love
    David C. Hubbard · 11/10/97 at 7:21 PM ET

    Thanks, Jeff, for recounting Erickson's definition of mature love, "in your happiness, I find my happiness."

    This is basically the same as what I think of as the common element of love. What is love? We often talk of many different kinds of love: love of a parent for a child, love of a child for a parent, love between friends, love between lovers, etc. Though all these types of love a different, they all must have something in common, since they are all love. I believe that all of the different types of love share the following: Your joy gives me joy and your sorrow gives me sorrow.

    I believe that this second of the above definition is important because it shows that an abusive and controlling relationship is not love. I would content that what is often called love is more like what we might call "joy of ownership or possession." I any case, it is not love.

    I would be interested in what thoughts you or anyone else might have on this subject.

    Thanks,

    Dave

    dhubbard@primenet.com

    Replies:
    • Bonner's and the Putneys' Love, by Stephen Lankton, 11/12/97
      • A short thought on Love..., by John Gauger, 11/13/97
        • Known in what way?, by Stephen Lankton, 11/14/97
          • Knowing = Loving, by John Gauger, 11/16/97
            • A narcissist reply, by Michael Melhorn, 11/17/97
        • love is not the known, by michael melhorn, 11/15/97
        • True Love, by Julie, 1/13/99
      • Love and loving, by Robin Allenson, 4/8/98
        • I agree, Robin., by Jeffrey K. Zeig, 4/12/98
          • Re:I agree, Robin., by richard brandow, 06/29/01
        • Well put, by Stephen Lankton, 4/13/98
          • And love of clients?, by Diane Kistner, 5/25/98
            • Diane, I hope therapists can love their clients, by Mary, 6/28/98
            • Love, by Stephen Lankton, 7/3/98
              • Re:Love, by Steve Lankton, 12/24/02
            • Re:And love of clients?, by :), 12/23/02
              • Use a name, by Steve Lankton, 12/24/02
    • reply to what is love, by Michael Melhorn, 11/13/97

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