Thank you for clearing up is in some ways a minor detail. It is not something that is a major focus of the work with this couple. However, it was bugging me. I had been assuming that he had indeed had an affair, was masterbating, been to a strip show, etc. I had assumed that he was lying. The man said that after he had experienced these unexpected ejaculation once or twice he became aware that there was a build up in pressure in his lower abdomen a few days before the unexpected ejaculation. He was rather embarassed to explain that he was now masterbating when he felt this pressure building up so that the unexpected ejaculations didn't happen anymore. One of the limitations of email or internet lists like this one is that sometimes a simple question is asked that, if presented in supervision would include a full case history and some statements about what the counsellor had done so far and was planning to do. My question was not and is not in any way a major focus of the work. I asked the question with limited information to protect the confidentiality of the client. I may not even use this information with the clients. To fill you in a little more: I am working with the man on his anxieties around raising issues and stating his point of view because he has always had a tendency to avoid doing this, even as a child. One of the main issue with the woman is that she is very rigid in her interpretation of her perceptions (there are two ways of seeing something: her way and the wrong way). With her I am trying to get her to see that there often are other ways of seeing things. The semen question is a possible example of this. If I had known of the rare possibility you described, I may have been able to challenge the woman's interpretations or to present some alternative interpetation when she first raised the semen on the pants. Again this is an oversimplification of a complex case.
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