PREFACE Please see the posting above titled "Explanation of Six Didactic Letters from Narcissus" if you have not already read it so you understand that this letter is fictitious and used only for instruction. Questions and comments can be directed to Jessica, not to Narcissus. Letter VI is the last letter in this series of six letters from Narcissus. If you have been following the letters so far, then Letter VI needs no explanation. Enjoy. ........................... May I Speak with You? Letter VI Hi. It's me again, Narcissus, wishing to talk with you. I thank you all for reading, and I'm sorry if I bored you with repetitiveness. The thing is that I really need you to understand. Thanks for your patience in reading all my letters. I hope you have enjoyed reading what I, of Narcissus fame, would have told you when I could not speak. When I find anyone like me, unable to say thank you or to apologize or to acknowledge his or her human need for others, I know the person is suffering much painful inner turmoil brought on by humiliation about needing others. And I know that the person will be easily slighted by the least thing and will often not even be aware of how much s/he feels extremely slighted or why s/he is so full of helplessness and humiliation and the misleading appearance of "entitlement attitudes." Most of all, I keep in mind that the most humiliating thing of all is that we end up feeling so very humiliated over very minor things. Anytime someone like me expresses any offense over anything, I ask that you please, if you'd like to help us, do share any similar feelings of humiliation and disappointment you would have in similar situations. Please don't say "Get over it!" We will all "get over it" when we feel understood and cared for. Remember that extremely minute sensitivity to humiliation is felt by us to be the greatest proof that we are wholly defective specimens of humanity. And we cannot tell you this is how we feel. So you could help be an ambassador for the position that this is not so--it is not so that there are subhumans. No matter how badly one feels over the most trifling slight, there are good and valid reasons for feeling that way--even if those reasons are hidden and locked in a suitcase full of old bad memories. Feeling slighted, no matter about what, cannot be proof of anyone's defectiveness as a human being. It is not the whole story to say that we narcissistic persons feel "too entitled." That is just the outer surface used to test people and to shield ourselves from overwhelming humiliation and other emotional storms. Unfortunately for some narcissistic persons, all we are likely to see is this outer surface. And some of these persons are without recourse to any help or understanding so that their suffering may never be alleviated and tragically will steadily worsen. And yet the world continues to produce many, many more narcissistically troubled persons because humiliation associated with needing others and guilt associated with other aspects of our many common human vulnerabilities continue, tragically, to be a part of human social life in so many quarters. And one last point, which is arguably the most important point presented now for the first time in my letters to you: If the truth be told, EVERYONE is so much more like narcissists than otherwise. Harry Stack Sullivan was addressing you and me and everyone when he wrote "We are all much more human than otherwise." For all of us, our greatest humiliation is realizing how little are the slights and foibles that can leave us feeling undeserving of the title "full-fledged human being." Sincerely yours, Narcissus, a.k.a. Human Being ...............................
Replies:
|
| Behavior OnLine Home Page | Disclaimer |
Copyright © 1996-2004 Behavior OnLine, Inc. All rights reserved.