My therapist, without saying anything directly, made his attraction to me clear. (...or was it.) The first comment concernig the mutual attraction was, "it would be very distructive to act on". This was repeated 2 weeks later with more information that would be hard to misuderstand. One or 2 appointments later, I unconsciously got seductive with words, . . . my only clue was his blush. Then later playfully and symbolically at first, he implied he would like to unbotton my buttons. This was hot and exciting. I am well boundaried in the area of "acting out" and I know he wouldn't risk his career. However, the next week we were both blushing a LOT. I thnk I handled it better than he did. 2 things happened to me. 1) It validated me in a way I really needed. 2) It did make the fantasies worse. Then he withdrew emotionally for a month or more, which was painful and confusing as the client. Finally 6 weeks later I told him it was 60% good, 40% bad. Since things cooled, I finally felt safe enough to talk about it, he denied his distancing. That is frustrating. I am also a counselor in training. The good news is . . . it has opened the doors to some very DEEP work on father issues that wouldn't have opened otherwise. But the road has been a rough rollercoaster and confusing. I need him to face his counter-transference of distancing. A book that addresses this healing: also helpful: Sex in the Forbidden Zone by Ryan Hall
The Love Cure: Therapy Erotic and Sexual by John Ryan Haule
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