All of us have to exercise caution to the best of our ability, and prior knowledge in the world we live in. In practice that means that each individual have widely divergent ideas of what will put them at risk, and what will not put them at risk. Often individuals do inadvertently put themselves at risk, and sometimes nothing happens (I can think of times looking back to my youth where I can only be happy nothing did happen, but that is such a normal part of being young), other times we have to live with painful consequences of our naivitee. In those given situations the person doing the hurting has a different kind of responsibility than the person being hurt. The person being hurt might have been naive or impulsive and can learn from the experience. The person doing the hurting is in the case of rape a criminal, and belongs in prison (or worse). To talk about calling the government due to an "awkward sexual encounter" really misses the point grossly. Rape is not "an awkward sexual encounter". Rape is a violent assault. If the rape happens within a pre-existing relationship then it might be possible to straighten things out, or it might not. That does not change the fact that the person who did not respect a "NO", have to learn to respect the NO. In my point of view it is "beyond decency" to point fingers at the person who got hurt. This is mostly because if a person has been raped then that person is the victim of a very violent crime, and it takes time to work through the fall out from such an experience. During the process of working through the fall out of a violent crime there will be tears, recriminations against self and others and lots of other painful stuff going on. The person working towards healing deserves support, kindness, warmth, and validation. At this stage it really does not matter if that person put him or herself at risk, the pain is real, and the person who was attacked need the space to heal. Some people do not heal from the kind of trauma that rape is. Current research gives us few clues as to why that is, but some simply do not have the inner or outer resources to fully put the terrible experience behind them. It is sad when we get to witness that. Heartbreaking even. Expensive as well for the society as they so often end up on SSI. Telling them to just "get over it" wont work however. There is plenty of trauma research to show that that is not the answer. Even should a person have put him or herself at risk, that does not change the fact that the person who did the rape is a violent criminal. As far as how many people I have counseled, I believe you are moving towards a "call to authority" fallacy, and I will choose not to answer your question. My credentials have little to do with my opinion in this matter. I can only hope that you dont work with traumatized people in your practice. Since I find your opinion would be one hindering healing for traumatized people, and that is the reason I call it offensive. Da Friendly Puter Tech
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