S: I have thought a lot about this love obsession thing being drawn to someone that you can not have. It doesn't explain, however, how a female client may fall for the 4th male therapist and not the previous 3. M: That depends on many things such as how long one was in therapy with the first three therapists, whether they were therapists who anyone would be inclined to fall in love with, whether the patient had an opportunity for a fully developed transference to develop and, if so, what obstacles to expressing it were present, and a host of other issues. It does not follow that because one did not explicitly express a romantic interest in the first three therapists that the processes for such an occurence were not also in place then but remained covert. S: And then there is the matter of the Jungian Psychology of Transference --"Conuinctio" M: Ok, whatever that is!? S: This really complicates matters in the obsession realm. M: If you say so. Are you posting here just for Jungians to read or are you under the impression that everyone hear speaks Jungian? S: One has to experience to know it.... Jungains write that a dark night of the soul follows. M: Do Jungians also write without explaining to non-Jungians what they are referring to? S: NOW: ..... Back to therapists response to this love phenomomen. M: So, whatever that Jungianspeak you just presented to us is all about, it presumably has nothing to do with the subject of this thread. Right? S: . countertransference manifests itself in "soulding, over emotionality, M: What does this mean? What is soulding? More Jungianspeak? S: "parenting, emotional withdrawal from the client and any numerous baffling behaviors. M: Countertransference can manifest in couutless other ways as well. And countertransference is also inevitable and is today regarded as one of the most valuable means of gaining therapeutic insight. Acting-out the countertransference in harmful ways is the only way it is problematic. S: Does a therapist1 noticing these behaviors in themselves have obligation to the client to refer and chance abondonment. M: What behaviors? Sex or an openly romantic relationship with a patient? If so, the answer is yes, the therapist must refer the patient to another therapist as well as get help for oneself, for the therapisst him/herself. And the abandonment of the patient already took place when the sex or open romance began; the referral is a recovery of responsibiity to the patient on the part of the therapist and a willingness to stop leaving the patient in an abandoned state. S: Does he/she continue on with thier client even though evidence shows they are not handling things well.. M: He/she does not continue with his or her client when the evidence is that one is handling things so badly that an overtly sexual or openly romantic love relationship has begun between therapist and client. S: Could it be perhaps there is returned love/sexual attraction that he/she is not facing? M: Who's returning what specifically to whom? S: It is all "complicated." M: Why the scare quotes? Most things in life ARE REALLY complicated. This reminds me of a recent New Yorker cartoon in which a couple is getting married standing before the minister who pronounces the words "love, honor and obey" while making the gesture of scare quotes (two fingers in the air using both hands) while speaking these words. Love, honor and obedience are genuine virtues among loving partners. And complication in human relationships is a genuine experience. No need for scare quotes unless we wish to indicate we don't really mean what we say or don't really say what we mean. Though relationship issues inside and outside of therapy are alway complicated, destructive acting-out of sex and romance by a psychotherapist isn't complicated with resepct to knowing that such behavior marks the therapy as having ended, knowing that the patient has been emotionally abandoned, and knowing that the therapist is responsible to initiate recovery for him/herself and for his/her patient by referring the patient to a more capable therapist and by the therapist's seeking therapy for him/herself and voluntarily subjecting him/herself to close supervision or suspension of practice.
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