I am seeking input as to how (or even if I should) act in some way regarding a situation I have become aware of in regard to a family dynamic...mother and son. This woman/mother is a very attractive (approximate age 30) youngest child in her family. Has a history of being in the state correctional facility while very young for felony drug possession charges. Please coorespond to:
After her debt had been paid she returned to her home town community to marry and subsequently have two children...boys about a year apart...
Her oldest child was in my second grade classroom a few years ago. And as a parent, she was actively involved in volunteering and enthusiastic in supporting our classroom projects. She would often seek to discuss personal issues with me after school hours.
For example she stated to me that she had ovarian cancer after the birth of her second child and that it was thought to be caused from her father's exposure to agent orange in VietNam...and that the older child in my class was the one who held her hair back while she vomited...
She also approached me to describe how some older children had beaten up this same child when he had been in the kindergarten classroom to "help" the teacher.. When I mentioned this to the boy, he seemed unaware of what I was talking about....
He came to school with a hat on , which was against the school rules... I asked him why he wore the hat knowing this, and he said his mother told him he had to wear it..
In discussing this with her, she stated that he needed to wear the hat because he was sensitive to light....??? This did not make sense to me but I accepted it.
She was concerned when after the required finger printing, she was told she could no longer volunteer in the school... after discussions with the principal, the restriction was waived.
None of these instances are significant in their own light. But something that happened yesterday made me reconsider these events in context..
She and her younger son were shopping and we happened to meet in the check out lane. After the exchange of hellos, she proceeded to tell me about how her son, the older one, had "tried to commit suicide, by jumping out of their jeep while going 65 miles an hour" Alarmed, I asked her if he was okay and why did he do such a thing. Her response was, that "he felt his life was too wonderful and that he did not deserve to live". She then asked me if I would call and talk to him because as she put it: "because he loved me so much". I called him after returning home, he answered and I asked him how he was doing, after his accident. His response was " What accident?" and he seemed somewhat bewildered by my question... I felt that he was totally unaware of what I was talking about. I then asked him about his new school and how he was doing etc. He seemed to be upbeat and not depressed as I had anticipated.
After hanging up, I pondered how this whole situation had transpired , recalling my previous history with this family. In light of that, I decided that this may not be the "son's" problem... but one of the mother. It alarms me to think that she used words like "suicide" and "jumping" out of a moving vehicle? This is where I am at right now... what should I do about this... Is this woman seeking help... through me, and if so how do I help her? Is her son safe?... What is appropriate as a friend and educator?
Anonymous educator
teacher_gr_2@yahoo.com
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