For the therapy to successfully proceed the client will need to give that responsibility back to the therapist, and hopefully negotiate a better way of handling similar situations in the future. The client is in no position to give that responsibility to the therapist. Clients should not have to be in the position to “give responsibility” to a therapist or be in a position to convince the therapist to change their perspective of the therapeutic sense of self. Even if a client tried to do that, it rarely works – therapists generally don't change their psychotherapeutic perspective just because a client asks them to. For a client to be in that kind of position, in my opinion, is worse than a therapist dumping their personal life onto the client. Because now after worrying about his therapists husband, the client is now in the position of doing (part of) the therapists job, on top of dealing with her or his own problems she or he came into therapy for. Again, the intent of the therapist does not matter. The result is what matters. All therapists should know better to not dump that kind or responsibility onto any client. There are many, many other ways a therapist can demonstrate their humanity to clients, without dumping their own current personal problems or crises onto clients. Yes it’s very very sad that the therapist’s husband is dying and I do sympathize, understand that kind of pain (my mom is dying of ALS and I also lost my dad many years ago), but that’s something a therapist needs to discuss with an associate or mentor or friend or family member, not with any clients and not for any reason. Once a situation such as this in therapy occurs, it’s nearly impossible to “fix”. I know that from experience. Mainly because most therapists are unwilling to share power with clients in the therapeutic relationship, as far as therapy techniques or therapist personality or personal situations are concerned. My opinion, time to interview a new therapist or two because the therapeutic relationship has already been broken by therapist, according to the original post.
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