D.S. says: "It’s sad about the tumor; that does not mean that clients need to be burdened with another crises that is not a part of her or his life." What is the "ethical" way for a therapist to tell a client that he/she must miss or post-pone sessions? In my opinion the therapist should just say something to the effect that she or he has a personal or family emergency to attend to, that’s all that’s needed. The client doesn’t need any other info. Does this mean a therapist's life should always remain a "black book" to his/her clients? Never divulge anything personal? When it comes to personal crises, yup. Is it possible that a client who obsesses over knowing about his/her therapist's husband's illness would worry and be upset about not being told the circumstances surrounding canceling sessions? Yes, probably which is why the client should not be told anything about the husband’s illness and just that there is a major family emergency or personal issue that needs to be attended to. That’s all the therapist really needs to say. Perhaps such a client would conclude that he/she (that is, the client) had done something to make the therapist angry and is being punished? Might not such a situation be worse than telling the truth briefly and without fanfare? Or is withholding information about the circumstances in such a case "the lesser of two evils"? IMHO it’s a lesser of two evils. If the client asks the therapist if she or he is being punished that’s easy for client and therapist to discuss and of course the therapist can say no there is not anger on part of therapist. We don't know how the therapist revealed this information or in what depth. How can you conclude from a fragmentary report from only one point of view (the client's) that the therapist was unethical and that the client ought to seek a different therapist? (I admit that if the full circumstances were known, that might very well be the conclusion I too would draw. However, I propose that we can't know that from what we were told here.) My personal opinion is that if the therapist is burdening the client with outside and potentially worrisome information that the therapist does not have the clients best interests at heart. And in that case, if the client is bothered by such info the client should definitely begin to seek a new therapist. That’s my opinion and I’m sure that any therapist who would tell the client such personal info to a client would disagree with me. I appreciate D.S.'s observation that seeking a different therapist is a viable option. It is not your only option. Yes it’s not the only option and ultimately it’s the client’s choice whether or not to find a new therapist. It's always the clients choice. When a therapist percieves that this is only the therapists choice, the theraputic relationship becomes an abusive or manipulative (or both) theraputic relatinship.
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