Cut through the Axiom-tripe and what you're saying is that I "caused" him to drive drunk No where did I say anywhere in this thread that you “caused him to get drunk”. No where. (there is a sequence and it probably goes back to him being angry at me for telling him to turn down his stereo which I shouldn't be able to hear a half acre away), I "caused" him to beat up on my neighbor, I "caused" him (this one's the best of all) to beat on and try to break in my back door. No where did I say that you “caused him” to beat up his partner. No where. I believe you are projecting. You are engaging in several of Samonow's Thinking Errors, which are definitions of how domestic violence perpetrators try to reason themselves out of guilt. IN this case, you "blame" the other person for "causing" the offender to do something that is unsafe or illegal, as if the offender had no other options. Samonow would have us believe that violence is NEVER acceptable, as there are always ways to resolve a conflict otherwise. I agree, there are always ways to resolve conflict. That does not nengate anything I have said earlier. I did not blame anyone. I was discussing a theory that PsyDoc proposed. Actually he/she was the one who believes that you are partly responsible because he said in the earlier post that he/she believed that a punctuating the sequence” situation took place. I was questioning him on that. And also it takes two to have a dispute. That can not be negated. That of course does not mean that one party in a dispute has a right to physically abuse another. However because you are not their therapist, then you should not be getting involved in this situation as far as their mental health situation is concerned. Of course if he has beaten you up or trespassed, Or of course if you hear him threatening his partner then of course call the police, definitely. But don’t go over there, especially if he has a gun in his house, and jeopardize your personal safety. Let the cops handle it. It’s their job. When you have someone you hate to begin with, beating up on your friend in your back yard, then trying to break your door down, then you are told that this same individual is angry at you for calling the police, and that they have a gun in their house, and everything you've predicted about this individual has come true only worse, and you feel threatened enough to get a gun and alarm system, you come back and tell me how you would handle it. Until then, go teach an ethics course somewhere. Maybe you live in an ivory tower, but I live in the real world. Again if he has threatened you then definitely call the cops. If he has a gun illegally then definitely he should be arrested. That is real world thinking. Real world thinking is to call the cops and I have been saying that all along. No ivory tower stuff here.
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