Re:Diffuse and Distinct Time Setting

Hello,

Please excuse any reference to making a diagnosis. I merely pointed out that chronic lateness can be a sign or a symptom of certain disorders. When those disorders are present, a very different approach to managing time must be employed. A diagnosis cannot be made on the basis of a single symptom; multiple symptoms that fit a pattern must be corroborated by a careful evaluation.

I want to return to the statement I made in the opening paragraph of my first post. Different people, including those with no evidence of mental disorders of any sort, have very different ways of handling time. The following book is one of the best sources of information on this topic.

Hall, Edward T. (1973). The silent language. New York: Anchor Books.

Description of Book:

"A scholarly survey of the importance of non-verbal communication and especially the cross-cultural notions of space and time by a leading anthropologist."

"Hall considers time a silent language, i.e. concepts and ways of dealing with time are intuitive and almost unconscious, particularly if they are part of a culture."

Hall called the study of the nonverbal communication aspects of time usage "chronemics." He explored in more depth the related concept of the nonverbal communication aspects of space, which he called "proxemics," in his companion book "The Hidden Dimension."

FYI--The study of the use of body movements and muscle tension is called "kinesics." The study of the nonverbal communication aspects of touching is called "hepatics." The study of the nonverbal aspects of spoken language, e.g., rate, volume, and tone, is called "paralinguistics." Nonverbal behavior is very complex.

There are two main styles of handling time. Some people set time in distinct units. For them, if an appointment is at 9:00 A.M., they get there between 8:55 and 9:02 A.M. One or two minutes after the hour is acceptable, but this person will probably apologize for it.

Others perceive time in more diffuse units. If such a person has an appointment at 9:00 A.M.,
he or she will be perfectly comfortable arriving anywhere from 8:45 to 9:10 A.M., with no mention of being late. He/she might apologize for ciming in at 9:15 or 9:20 A.M. (or might not).

The two groups do not understand each other. Distinct point setters will assume all sorts of unkind things about diffuse point setters. After all, the only reason a distinct point time setter would arrive more than five minutes late to an appointment is a near emergency. Diffuse time setters will arrive ten or fifteen minutes late routinely, without even noticing it in particular. If the person they are meeting appears angry, the diffuse point time setter may not understand why the other is "making a big deal" of it.

Each group thinks the problem lies with the other group.

Of course, business and leisure activities will have somewhat different expectations. Some people arrive "on time" to work, but "late" to parties. But each person will have a different definition of what being "on time" and "late" means.

Many managers and supervisors are distinct point time setters. Thus there is a huge potential for misunderstanding and conflict when subordinates and colleagues are diffuse point time setters.

Many creative persons are diffuse point time setters. Some of the most talented psychotherapists are diffuse point time setters. This makes it very difficult to work in settings where rigid time schedules are the norm.

One thing diffuse point time setters can do is to choose their work setting. This is not always possible, but when it is, it works well. Setting up flex schedules, where one stays late if he or she arrives late is an example. A therapist can achieve this best by going into private practice. Then he or she will only have to answer to the clients themselves. Distinct point time setting clients will simply stop coming or switch to another therapist.

But a therapist cannot go into private practice without two or more years of supervised experience. During this training period, he or she will have to deal with the expectations of trainers and supervisors.

So if you are comfortable with how you handle time, go ahead as you are. Just recognize that others may misunderstand and malign you for it.

But if there are any underlying issues that lead you to mishandle time (notice in particular the "if" in this statement), I hope you will address them.

Warm regards,

Don H. Morris
Little Rock, Arkansas

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