Dear John, Just writing an article for the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy Journal, and thought I would canvass your opinion and the rest of the list as well of course. Similar to Mahau's paper on Cyber-infidelity, I've been thinking about at what point should a face-to-face therapist refer a client to someone else (online or offline) because lack of online experience means they have no concept of the online relationship. This encompasses cyber-infidelity of course, but also the intense nature of e-mail relationships. To illustrate, a friend mailed me: "My therapist has no modem, how can he ever possibly understand that reading and rereading my emails from Pete to get every nuance from them is normal behaviour? He knows that I have never met him, have no knowlege of what he looks like, only chatted on AOL and e-mailed, and yet everytime I see him on my Buddy List or his screename in my mailbox, my heartrate soars and my day will then be a happy one. I think my therapist thinks I'm delusional..." Ethically, should the therapist refer on? If yes, to an online counsellor? Or should he buy a computer and modem lol? All opinion gratefully received. Best wishes, Kate
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