If I could speak: child: adult:
I would like to add that I need you to be there when I have those particularly low times. Think of me at these times, in this way: As a child who will hang on your every word, and wait to see you have heard me, and have listened. If I "call out" to you in any way, I need you to respond…at the very least acknowledge that you have noticed my presence. I know that you cannot be the parent I never had… but you need to teach me that. Because you see… I will "call out" to you in any way that I can and know how. If you don't hear me, even to tell me that I do not need to "call out" so many times, then it will make me even more desperate to assure myself that you are still there. Despite the fact that you are not my parent who left me behind, my child mind will embrace the only thing it knows. You need to teach me to nurture that child self with my adult self, but, again, you must do that by being my example.
I need you to understand as well that when I have entrusted you with my child, that I am trusting you to treat him/her as a child, and not so much as a child trapped within this adult body. Would you turn a child away when he cried out for someone to save him? I only ask the same.
Don't tell me that I have to do the work, because I already know that. I just want you to make me feel like I am not alone. I have already been at it for all these years, and I want to feel like you care enough to get me through this. I don't need to hear from you that I need to stop whining and start acting. That is why I am here… I need your help.
I need to hear why you think I am worthwhile. To tell me the fact that I am a human being is not enough. There are billions of human beings. To me, the loss of one does not make a huge difference, especially if it is me.
Is there something that you see in me that maybe is worth salvage? If there is not, then let me know now. Don't drag it out.
Please don't abuse the power I have given you over me. Please listen because I sometimes will only give you hints.
And… If you can do all this for me, then perhaps I will become the person I so desperately want to be no matter how impossible it seems to me. Somewhere inside me is that small hope, and the proof is in that I have come to you for help to find that hope and make it bloom into something more real.
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