I feel very comfortable with the analysis presented so far, yet I remain unable to translate it into my own terms, terms that owe much to the language of Control Mastery Theory. For one thing, I have trouble with Laura's claim of sexual abuse, although I find it easy to believe that she felt abused subjectively. Can we be certain that there was actual sexual abuse?
Laura claims to having been abused by a friend of the family from ages 3 to about 12. It is usual for relatives and family friends of both sexes to touch small girls rather intimately during acts of hugging, picking up, carrying, and holding on the lap. People tend to view such contact as harmless and possibly even a positive good when the person doing the touching is acting out of affection, so long as the genital area is avoided. Is it possible that such innocent contact is what Laura now sees as sexual abuse?
Laura's parents apparently had a history of constant bickering. Is it possible that when Laura was a young girl she was led to wonder why her mother stayed with this man who was away much of the time and a nuisance when he was around? Could it be possible that young Laura concluded (in part because of the neighbor's caresses) that physical contact with a man creates a bond that makes women remain with abusive men they would otherwise leave? What I am sketching are the outlines of a possible pathogenic belief, one that is quite compatible with the interpretations you have made.
Such a belief could create the perception that men are dangerous beasts who will rob Laura of her autonomy unless handled very carefully, especially with regard to the matters of affectionate touching and sexual intercourse.
I see Laura's process of development as possibly involving an attempt to get to know men (and herself in the company of men) better in a series of "safe" venues as defined by her pathogenic belief. She began having a relationship with a very safe man, someone who agreed to have no sexual contact. Upon discovering that she could maintain an acceptable level of autonomy and control in this situation, she moved on to a more dangerous relationship, this time involving a man who only grudgingly consented to having no sex.
In moving from one stepping stone to the other, Laura's constant source of security has been her mother. This can be seen from the fact that if her mother was not there for her, she would have no one to depend on except a dangerous man. So Laura finds herself between a rock and a hard place. She remains more dependent on her mother than she would like, yet cannot free herself of that dependence until she is able to achieve the assurance that she can have a fully sexual relationship with a man that will be satisfying to her and quite better than what her mother had with her father. Some unconscious guilt about surpassing her mother may also be holding her back.
As for the eating disorders, I agree with relating eating to dependency on mother and vomiting/refusing to eat with autonomy. I do have some questions in this regard, though. Does she keep her vomiting secret from Tom and her mother? Did she keep it a secret from her "perfect man?" Is it possible that she vomited frequently before enlisting you as her therapist partly to convince herself that she needed help?