Therapeutically I would be more confrontive with ol Harold. This is a professional man who is having an ongoing affair on his spouse. From what you report he also has children. It seems to me that ol' harold is having it both ways and at the same time jeopardizing his relationship with his wife and potentially disrupting his relationship with his children. Did you ever think that ol/ Harold is using you. You are his excuse if a devorce eventuates when he can state "well I tried therapy". Even his constant missing of appointments indicates lack of investment. Frankly, I think the main problem Ol' Harold has is keeping it in his pants! Further, I think he is yanking your chain. Confront him or pass him to a therapist who is more comfortable with confrontive techniques!............Ed Riemann