Hello, I'm a member of a small private online community that has been running for approximately 8 years now. Most of the friends that I have in this group I've known for between 3 to 8 years and we're really close. I consider them my "family", and love them all so much. We communicate really regularly and share as much going on in our lives as we would with friends and family who are physically present. 12 days ago my husband had a grand mal seizure in the night which he was taken to hospital for and admitted for testing. One of his pupils was a lot bigger than the other one after the attack so they scheduled him for a CT brain scan to check for a brain tumour. We were in the hospital all night and all of the following day while tests were carried out. They weren't able to find any cause, so he was released to come home. I shared this with my online friends and most were really supportive and concerned about what had happened. Then, my husband started having seizures throughout the night every single night after this. They're not the big grand mal type that he had initially had, but smaller ones, although some involve full body convulsions. When I posted sharing this with my friends only a few of them responded. This left me so confused. I actually got tears going in to the forum the following two days when I saw that so many of my friends had visited and completely ignored my post. I've spoken with one of my friends and he thinks that maybe they just were really concerned and didn't know how to respond to my post in a way not to get me worried. I know that it doesn't sound like much, but to me this has really hurt - like abandonment by the people closest to me when I was scared and really needed comfort the most. I've tried for days to understand why they would have ignored me and not even post a Hug Smiley or something which we use so much. I know that I have two options now. I can either continue to feel hurt, or I can turn this into something positive and try to understand it and learn from it. I chose number 2. :-) What I'm not sure of though, is what's here for me to learn. Have I been wrong in having expectations perhaps in how they should respond to me? Have I expected too much? Am I expecting them to be as open as me and I need to realize that it's not easy for everyone to be open? Or are they not quite such good friends as what I thought they were? I would really appreciate any honest feedback.
I wonder if it would be ok for me to ask for some feedback regarding a personal matter please. (I hope this is ok to post here).
Thank you so much in advance.
Hazel ~
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