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Re:Dependent/Avoidant/Reactive
Mariel · 03/21/02 at 8:38 PM ET
Its dangerous to become close to somebody who ultimately holds most of the power in the relationship. So isn't it appropriate to protect oneself? I hesitate to say this but I have come to believe that therapists in general don't seem to realize the depth of peoples feelings.
It seems that you have quite a narrow definition of how this person should feel and behave in relation to you, that one thing is too much, another is too little. Could you let go of some of that?
Maybe it happens because of the work or maybe its just coincidence. But if one person truly wants another person to trust him, he has to let go of some of his power. Being vulnerable, not as a technique, but really, equalizes the power in a relationship and makes the other person feel safe. And they actually are.
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