to monica: more transference

Monica,

You said:

"The idea behind therapy is to help the client find that in their own life. To provide it shortcircuits the client's development."

I know that, ultimately, my job is to learn to parent myself. But as someone who NEVER HAD a close relationship with a parent, I do not always know how to do that. If I had the skills to take care of myself fully in life, I wouldn't be seeing a therapist to start with.

Also, as an adult survivor of sexual abuse, I need to learn how to trust and get close to someone else. I thought that's what the therapist was there for.

Monica, you said that the therapist/client relationship isn't a personal one. Maybe not from the therapist's view, but certainly from the clients.

Why is it OK for a client to open up to a therapist and not get anything but professionalism, intellectualism, and emotional distance in return? I'm already well aware of what a "professional" relationship feels like. That's not what I want with my therapist.

For the therapist to remain "distant" or unable to give back anyting "emotionally" would simply be a REPEAT of the same problem I had growing up, trying to connect with an emotionally unavailable mother who couldn't get physical comfort. (i.e., always striving to get something that "mother" witholds).

I hope you respond again. Because I simply can't understand how repeating the need/witholding pattern in therapy is going to help me at all.

Replies:

more transference, by Lindsay Smith, 12/03/01 Re:more transference, by J R, 12/04/01 Re:more transference, by Lindsay Smith, 12/04/01 Re:more transference, by , 12/14/01 Re:to monica: more transference, by Monica, 12/13/01 Re:to monica: more transference, by Monica, 12/14/01

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