eye contact and shame

I have a problem with looking people in the eye. This problem has caused me unspeakable anxiety. I know this is shame based do to my childhood. This problem started when a so called friend spread rumors in highschool that I was gay. Which I am not, I am happy and married to my husband who I have a great sex life with. It happens when someone is talking to me, I try looking them in the eye and I get heart palpatations, I start thinking they think I'm looking at something I shouldn't be looking at which I end up doing. (Men:zippers, women: breasts) I have a great fear that people are going to think I am a pervert. When I'm alone I don't have a problem with this. I don't have a problem with pornography or sexual addiction. It is as if I want them not to like me. I fear that everyone is going to turn against me and call me dirty. This is not in my head because some people have commented that I undress them with my eyes. When they are not looking at me I can look at them normaly. This causes me such stress that I don't want to be with people. I am so lonely because I love to be with people. I have never heard of anyone else with this problem. I've tried EMR, hypnosis, help!!!!!

Thank you jchild

• p.s. by j.child, 10/17/98