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Old November 17th, 2006, 07:15 PM
TempleCat TempleCat is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2006
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Default help! need ideas

I have a twelve year-old stepson who my wife and I need to get a clue about! First of all, he is intelligent, but will do anything to get out of doing anything that isn`t his idea. Take school, for instance. Homework is something to be avoided! If his mother or I don`t sit and push him(all night, literally) to do his homework, it won`t get done. And he fusses and makes the whole ordeal (and us) miserable.Then he leaves it at school. We go get it at school! Then he just doesn`t tell us. Or he will lie to the teacher, and say we wouldn`t let him do it !!! We can`t take much away from him, because he really has no interests, besides riding his ATV or watching TV. This doesn`t help either. We are really ready to give up on him.

Perhaps I should give some background. My wife and I met at work, when he was an infant. Her husband (his father) was really messing her around and basically ruining their life as a family, and they had separated. I entered the picture, and her Ex ran off with the kids to a far away state to live with his parents. The child in question has an older brother, who probably contributed to his present state. The older was five at the time, the young one about sixteen months. Their father had a really strong rapport with the older (still does), and guided him on causing us problems, and this he taught the young one too. She got custody of the kids, since he took the kids out of state and didn`t bring them back at the divorce court date. He was to see them only in this state, at our discretion, and was to pay Support. But over the next seven years, they put us through so much hell that we had to do the inevitable for our own peace of mind , and send them to His house to live(never mind that he only paid his support the first two weeks, never afterwards.) The child in question must have given his Father and Stepmother hell during his stay there, to the point that he is with us now. And now we are stuck with him, because he won`t go back, and they won`t have him back , and his brother doesn`t want him around either. By the way, my parents have been very kind with these two when they were here, as have we. No abuse on our end, maybe amazingly considering some of their antics.

Anyway , we need some help with this child, he is almost impossible to reason with. And he has successfully BS`ed his teachers to the point that they don`t know what to do either. He is in seventh grade now, they say he shouldn`t have gotten that far. However, our local school won`t hold anyone back and he not only knows this, but will tell you so! We really are clueless, and frankly I`m scared what he may grow up to be. Now I realize that anyone who reads this is instantly going to say" get that kid to counseling". I made this suggestion many years ago to their mother, but she, like I, is figuring he may make up some wild story about child abuse on our part, and we`ll get in trouble . Which is possible, considering the ability he has with making up stories. He once told poeple in his school in their Father`s state that His Mother(my wife) had been murdered in our home, and that I slept through the whole ordeal(I sleep lightly, that`s funny!) . He really has proven over the years to be a very talented and willing liar, and while we have not abused our children, we are afraid that he might tell a story that we can`t get out of , and end up in jail. This would be an asolute stupid tragedy, but entirely possible, considring the present times.
I`m truly sorry for the long post, but figured the more I put on the table, the more intelligent and accurate advice we can get. Thanks very much in advance to all appreciated help!
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