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Unread July 7th, 2006, 02:39 PM
James Brody James Brody is offline
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Default Developmental Tuning: Live It Up?

Sorting genes from experiences keeps old guys awake through Vermont winters next to a woodstove. In this case, are more restrained individuals more apt to move into chronic regret when they are too old to kick butt?

Kivetz & Keinan tell us to live it up, otherwise spend our dotage regretting our lapsed pursuit of sins. Early announcements of their research, conducted on buses on the NY shopping area, appeared in the popular media over the last 10 days. And I note that Fred is a remarkably upbeat guy, and therefore? was a substantial sinner and, therefore x2, a substantial magnet for his wife, Shelly.

From a Daily News piece by Mark Elwood: Http://www.nydailynews.com/front/sto...p-361509c.html

" 'As time passes and we have more perspective, guilt dissipates very quickly, and what you're left with is the feeling of missing out on life. In the long run, people really regret not choosing the vice.'

"To prove the point, the professor and his student even conducted local field research - on buses taking shoppers to Woodbury Commons. They asked one bus to focus on long-term regret: How would they feel a few months from now after compromising on cheap and functional goodies instead of designer duds? What would it be like in a week when they looked at that $20 sweater instead of the $100 cashmere bargain?

"People on another bus were told to concentrate on immediate buyer's remorse: How would they feel getting home that night and sifting through their purchase? And a third group was told nothing. While buses Nos. 2 and 3 came back with lower-priced, more conservative purchases, the shoppers on bus No. 1 had all splashed out. Their purchases were, it was determined, significantly more indulgent than the other shoppers'. 'Focusing on longer-term regret causes people to allow themselves to indulge more, buy more and enjoy life more,' says Kivetz.

"No one proves the point better than 31-year-old Carla, who lives in Gramercy Park. She has just one regret from a wild night in Manhattan - and it's what she didn't do instead of what she did. 'I was standing in the bathroom line at Bungalow 8,' she recalls, 'and I met [Huge Celebrity] and in our state of drunkenness, we made out, for the rest of the night. He asked me to come back to his hotel, but by then I had sobered up and come to my senses, so I declined.'"

I've heard similar stories in my office and can tell a few of my own...

JB

Reference:
Kivetz R & Keinan A (2006) Repenting hyperopia: An analysis of self-control regrets. Journal of Consumer Research. September
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Unread July 12th, 2006, 10:53 AM
Fred H. Fred H. is offline
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Default Re: Developmental Tuning: Live It Up?

Quote:
JimB: Kivetz & Keinan tell us to live it up, otherwise spend our dotage regretting our lapsed pursuit of sins. Early announcements of their research, conducted on buses on the NY shopping area, appeared in the popular media over the last 10 days. And I note that Fred is a remarkably upbeat guy, and therefore? was a substantial sinner and, therefore x2, a substantial magnet for his wife, Shelly.
Thanks for the “upbeat guy” comment Jim—Shelley’s been kind of irrationally bitchy lately regarding some of my perspectives on things, and your “upbeat guy” comment, coming from someone with your expertise, helped her regain some perspective—kind of like when we went to that marriage counselor—at Shelley’s urging and choosing—several years ago, and the counselor, a woman no less, pretty much took my side on things, although I of course never lorded that over my lovely wife.

Regarding my having been a “sinner,” on occasion, I suppose that’s true enough, and maybe that has enhanced any magnetism, but I’ve also tended to be somewhat frugal, mostly prudent, resolute (except when, on occasion, when I’ve had to change b/c I happened to have been wrong), and Republican; and still have few, if any, regrets.

I think old people with regrets are probably more that way b/c of their own lack of resolve/purpose in their lives, their own lack of a sense of what and who they are; and if they had it to do all over again, they’d probably behave similarly—any freewill is probably mostly wasted by such wussies.
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Unread July 12th, 2006, 02:26 PM
TomJrzk TomJrzk is offline
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Default Re: Developmental Tuning: Live It Up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fred H.
Shelley’s been kind of irrationally bitchy lately regarding some of my perspectives on things
I'll leave it to Shelley to confirm or deny, but, from my perspective, any bitchiness toward many of your posts would certainly be rational. Assuming, of course, that you let her read them.

Yes, I fought hard to not press the 'submit reply' button on this one. I will skip the next one for the sake of balance.
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