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  #131  
Old November 28th, 2004, 12:24 PM
Henry Stein Henry Stein is offline
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Default Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

For additional information about this topic, check The Impact of Parenting Styles on Children at http://go.ourworld.nu/hstein/parentin.htm. The table summarizes Hugh Misseldine's assumptions about the potential effects of indulgent, permissive, perfectionistic, rejecting, neglecting, punitive, and seductive parents. Misseldine is not an Adlerian, but his ideas are compatible with Adler's opinions.
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  #132  
Old November 28th, 2004, 04:59 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Lightbulb Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Superiority/Inferiority Feelings from mother's attitude:



The posting about the response to mother's parenting style is incomplete, but then all of these postings in this "Ground Up" segment, are also just very limited. What we must look at behind the conclusions is how they play out in communal living because this psychology addresses mankind not in isolation, but in community. Let us then look at the above examples and seek some possible "movements" that might occur in response to these notions from my last posting.



Look at the mother who is always warm and present. One child may draw the conclusion that the world is wonderful and safe. Under these conditions they may not have a very deep inferiority feeling, but this primary notion might be challenged when they first go to school and meet the first school yard bully. Suddenly the "wonderful safe world" has a hostile and dangerous person in it. They are not prepared for an adversary and they may conclude that they are unable to deal with any dangerous person. Their inferiority feeling comes to the fore, and they act as if the teacher and parents must ALWAYS protect them, their goal of fictional superiority. And this arose when they had this "super mom".



Now look at the child who was raised by an anxious and nervous mother. I mentioned one who lived in an "alien and hostile country". Their inferiority feeling may be that "Everyone is out to get them" or is that a superiority feeling because after all they are targeted by EVERYONE? If every one is out to get them the compensation may be to be constantly on guard and keep a distance from all these dangerous people. This person may very quickly move away from social interest and develop a full-blown safe guarding tendency. So their goal of fictional superiority is to live behind a castle wall and pull up the drawbridge. They may even maintain a moat around their lonely castle and fill it with sharks. They may have a fictional superiority goal of ruling in a kingdom of one, but the inferiority feeling is unbearable even thogh the option is just to be a fellow man. They will be alone and deeply unhappy all the while looking like they just want to be "above others". The movement is away from mankind because they feel incapable of engaging in this world that ignores them.



Let's look at the child raised by the neglectful mother now. They as I have said, may conclude no one cares about them; they are utterly alone. This feeling of inferiority may be very severe. This person may therefore be in severe pain and it will be a very challenging task to fill up such "incompletude". However if the compensation is to seek revenge on all mankind who "owes them", their arrogance and vanity will defeat the very thing they seek … to be a part of us!



So you see, once more it is not what happened that is the problem, but rather what conclusions were drawn and the creative endeavour of this person that they perceive will compensate for the Inferiority Feeling. This is how each human creates the Fiction of the Life Style. This is the creation of a discouraged child that is perceived as the "fix" for all of life's manifold problems.



Thus it becomes the therapist's task to discern this unique law of movement in each individual they see. The difficulty is that the therapist must see this "Private Logic" in a gentle and very accurate manner, but never as other than a "fellow traveller".



So once more, WATCH THE MOVEMENT. All the person's biased perceptions are in front of you. Read that scroll with gentle, and very humble compassion!

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  #133  
Old November 28th, 2004, 05:02 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Smile Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Thanks again Henry. Hugh Misseldine does give a most comprehensive overview of the parenting style influences.
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  #134  
Old December 5th, 2004, 11:53 AM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Lightbulb Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Some possible conclusions from watching father:
The next influence we must look at ie that of father. Do remember however, that the father is not "creating these conclusions". The child is. The child looks at all of his perceived life circumstances and creates a "Life Plan" in response to them from his own creativity!

Here in Adler's own words is a summation:

A summary Of Adler’s notions by Adler(1)



1. In the concept of "life" the organic and psychological mode has been preformed. It encounters us everywhere as the "compulsion for setting goals." This is because life demands that we act. It is in this way that the ultimate character of the inner life is fixed.

2. Human beings are endowed with an incessant stimulus to strive for goals because of a feeling of inadequacy. What we call "drives" is the established path that is oriented by the goal. Will power accrues in spite of apparent contradictions in order to forge toward this integrated goal,

3. Just as an insufficient organ creates an unbearable situation out of which grow numerous attempts at compensation until the organism feels itself equal to the demands, so does the child's psyche out of a feeling of insecurity seeks that font of extra strength to rise above that feeling of insecurity.

4. The study of the human psyche first of all must take into consideration these tentative efforts and exertions of strength that grew out of the individual's actual physical state, and that reflect practiced and accomplished ways of dealing with life.

5. For this reason every manifestation of an individual's psyche can therefore be seen only as one aspect of an integrated life plan. All attempts that fail to explain a psychological phenomenon along these lines and that try to understand a child's psyche solely through an analysis of that phenomenon, not seeing it in its whole context, must, therefore, be regarded as unsuccessful. What actually happens in a child's life should never be regarded as complete in itself but, if observed with a goal in mind, should be seen only as preparatory for moving toward that goal.

6. In accordance with this concept nothing can occur without a purpose. We shall attempt in the following to highlight the most important guiding principles:

Reality

a. Developing abilities to gain superiority

b. Measuring up to one's environment

c. Gathering knowledge and skills

d. Awareness of the existence of hostility

e. Utilizing love and obedience, hate and defiance, social feeling and striving for power to attain superiority.

Imagination

f. Developing "as-if reasoning abilities (fantasy and symbolic successes)

g. Exploiting weakness

h. Procrastinating decision-making, search for cover

7. An essential precondition for these guidelines is finding a lofty goal, an omnipotence and god-likeness that must remain in the unconscious in order to be effective. As soon as the purpose and meaning of this goal and its contrariness to the truth has been fully comprehended and understood, the individual no longer is its captive and will be able to invalidate its automatic, stereotypical influence with an intelligent approach to practical social needs. This goal, shaped in accordance with an individual's constitution and experience, is variously concretely covered and can, in that form, rise regularly into consciousness as psychosis. The unawareness of this goal for power is conditioned by its unbridgeable contradiction to real social feeling. Gaining insight, without astute penetration, and given a general human obsessiveness with striving for power can hardly be expected without outside professional help.

8. The normal veiling of the striving for power, which when necessary can manifest itself in other, often seemingly contrary forms, can be presented schematically as a juxtaposing of "male and female," "below and above," "everything and nothing" which portends to be the sum of all power in which the child seeks to be a participant. In the inherent contrast, usually the weaker is regarded as the hostile element and as such is to be subdued.

9. All these symptoms become very prominent in the neurotic because, up to a certain point, the patient with his combative attitude and his unique apperception scheme has indicated refusal to undergo any extensive revision of his childish misjudgments. Furthermore, he is assisted in defending this position by a solipsistic attitude that consequently has become fixed.

10. We should, therefore, not be surprised to learn that every neurotic behaves as if he must constantly prove his superiority, including over women.



(1) CCWAA Volume 4, pages 48 -51


With the above solidly in view, let us look at a few scenarios.

Suppose the father is very domineering. What may the child conclude? He may conclude that is the way men are and adopt a domineering attitude toward society. He might, on the other hand, conclude that the world is a place where one must keep one's head down because you can not overcome the "big people".

Suppose father is weak and ineffective and allows mother to totally dominate the home. The child may conclude that he is like dad and must therefore allow others to do whatever they will. But then again, he may decide to become the absolute opposite of father and develop a totally domineering attitude toward family and even the world in general.

Suppose father complains all the time about his mother or the children This child may conclude that he is flawed that he can do nothing right and give up on living. He might "make the flight to illness" and seek safety in emotional unwellness that he creates, but then again he may come on-side with father and constantly find fault with those with whom he is close, or once more with all of mankind!

As I pointed out under the influence of the mother, the constructions are almost always antithetical. This is so much the case that it becomes one of the hall marks of the neurosis!

So in Adler's psychology, it is never (well seldom) what has happened to a person, or what he has witnessed that creates the Life Style, but rather his own unique creativity. It is from this unique creativity that the unity of the life style unfolds. It is unitary in its direction based on childhood protypes and conclusions and created by the individual although the organic part of each individual will play a role in which direction he may choose.

Once more, there are no cookbook answers. We must look at each INDIVIDUAL in his uniqueness and discern the direction of his striving from the Inferiority Feeling toward the self created goal of Fictional Superiority. This is a line that will run consistently through everything he does, says, wears, notices and how he reacts. Once this unifying principle is comprehended for any individual, then his movements start to make sense in the symphony of his life.
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Last edited by George Neeson; December 5th, 2004 at 12:52 PM.. Reason: Format
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  #135  
Old December 5th, 2004, 12:12 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Exclamation Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Logical Sequence from this Posting:

If you have come this far in following these postings, you are either under employed and seek means to pass the weary hours, or you have a genuine interest in Adlerian psychology. If you have been a frequent visitor to these postings, please register so we can get to know you. If you have no training in Adlerian psychology, please believe me, you will never learn it in any way, by reading these postings or by reading even the "Collected Clinical Works of Alfred Adler" nor "The Individual Psychology of Alfred Adler" by Ansbacher and Ansbacher no matter how helpful these works are in learning basic principles.

If you have come this far, you really need to study this "Queen of the Depth Psychologies" by studying with a master. Do contact Henry Stein and he will give you guidance as to what might be helpfull to you. I am delighted with his distance training programs and am benefiting tremendously from them.

The pool is warm and welcoming. Come on in and get your feet wet with us. One quality I love about Adlerian psychologists is their warm acceptance and encouragement of those who wish to learn. You will be treated with equallity and profound respect in a Classical Adlerian training program and I do not know of any other North American training program that will give you the real goods!
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  #136  
Old December 5th, 2004, 08:14 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Cool Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

I am planning to do the next posting in reference to "The masculine protest", that is a brief overview of the issues surrounding maleness and femaleness and some of the notions Adler proposes in this regard. I will need to do some reading and more thinking about this one, so it may be a while appearing.
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  #137  
Old December 5th, 2004, 10:26 PM
Henry Stein Henry Stein is offline
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Default Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Yes, it is the creative power of the child that often makes his/her response to positive or negative parental attitudes quite unpredictable, even though we can observe some general tendencies. As Sophia de Vries pointed out to me many years ago, the child may invent a solution to a problem that no one else in his immediate family has demonstrated. So a child with a domineering father, not only might choose to be compliant, rebellious, or even dominant with younger siblings, he/she might also observe an appealing relative, teacher, or neighbor who is democratic and encouraging, and decide to emulate this appealing model. Or, he may actually find a positive, guiding ideal in literature, or even his own imagination. In this scenario, there is no neurotic antithetical scheme. Granted, this may be quite rare, but since it is possible, we may have to discuss this alternative with a client who has labored under the misconception that faulty parenting is responsible for their mistaken direction in life.
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  #138  
Old December 6th, 2004, 02:35 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Thumbs up Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Henry thank you for pointing this out because it flies very much against the permissive attitudes of "modern psychiatric" excuses for movements in a wrong direction. It is unlikely that an Adlerian therapist would be called upon to mount such a defence, because we have both a notion of vaues and of personal accountability. Each of us are responsible to contribute to the human situation and a person who has been raised in a less than ideal home, must, more than most people, have a practical and convincing demonstration of what happens when people move in a wrong direction. Any movement against humanity must evidently be viewed as harmful since they have seen this first hand, and I have yet to meet one of these people who could mount a convincing argument to me, that continuing a movement in a wrong direction was right, proper, and justifiable, although some pretty twisted attempts have been presented. The truth is, we all know what is generally good and bad!
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Last edited by George Neeson; December 6th, 2004 at 07:27 PM.. Reason: typo
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  #139  
Old December 30th, 2004, 08:08 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Smile Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

My Internet service has been restored 30 minutes ago after 2 1/2 weeks of problems. I hope to do a posting for "From the Ground Up" tomorrow to do with "The Masculine Protest".
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  #140  
Old December 30th, 2004, 08:40 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Cool Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Watch for: "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world and other lies mankind tells" in the "Adler from the Ground Up" series to follow tout suite! I have been absent due to a local internet radio failure just repaired today. Sorry to keep you in suspense!
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