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Unread October 29th, 2005, 05:55 PM
James Brody James Brody is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Philadelphia area
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Default The Advantages of Looking Psychotic

The kid was covered with tattoos and rode a two-wheeled rocket but a passing cager still threw pennies at him. The kid caught up with the car, removed his helmet, and smashed it several times into the car's trunk. The car got the hell out of there...

All of us, regardless of age, share survival problems including temperature control, dehydration, fatigue, and lapses of attention. These problems multiply when you ride a motorcycle. The first three sneak up and get you in trouble before you notice their attack. They also erode your alertness and turn your distractibility into preoccupation.

Staying out of emergency rooms requires some forethought but it also requires intimidating cagers, those individuals who ride on four wheels and are "nice" people who also talk on their cell, fiddle with their radio, and don't signal because they will live and you won't after they hit you. The universal answer from cagers to the investigating officer is: "I never saw him," a reason that may share foundations with the fearlessness that deer show when we're in a car or riding a lawn tractor!

And the cager's deepest fear: you may live after the accident but will be maimed and able to sue.

According to Cope's Rule in biology, things usually get bigger across generations. So does foresight and the ability to make ourselves appear larger or more threatening. Cats erect their fur, Yanomamo display scars that signal not only bravery but also brain damage and impulsiveness, riders put skulls on their bikes, jackets, and helmets. Bikes grow extra head, brake, tail, and running lights that sometimes oscillate. Bikers grow magnificent manes, wear armor, make loud noises, and take dominant positions in highway lanes.*

*Overheard outside at Sunoco MiniMart: "Keep your helmet on in the store, you want to look like a biker-bitch!" Whether choir robes or tinpot hats, mate-guarding is everywhere!

Copyright, 2005, James Brody, all rights reserved
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