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  #121  
Old November 15th, 2004, 03:58 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Thumbs up Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Yes indeed Paul, that is what Adler suggests in his understanding. The goal of superiority is a unique creation of the already creative child alone and does not fall into his lap from the world around, nor is it "caused by" environmental or heriditary factors, nor is it even caused by an organ inferiority (genetic predisposition in todays English maybe). The goal will follow a guiding line fashioned from the perceived "maneuvering room" of each child, but it will follow that line until the inferiority feeling is filled up! This is a radical departure from Freud and most modern psychologies that I am aware of! Now we are seeing why Adler calls this "Individual Psychology" because the neurosis is a creation of the individual so each individual will do it in a unique way as partains to his unique perceptions and therefore his unique life line. This is a central and key notion in this psychology. Thank you for highlighting it's centrality.
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  #122  
Old November 15th, 2004, 10:40 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Default Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Family Influences, Mom we ain't alone:

Back a number of postings ago I talked about the child lifting his head and looking around his world. A lot happens in a hurry at this stage. He starts crawling and "locomoting" about the family residence. First he goes on all fours crawling but he likes to get higher than that, so he stands and then (now the home gets really busy) he starts to toddle about. He may either hear the echoes of his own voice or he may be surprised to find there are other eyes out there, not just mom and dad. How he learns to view those other eyes, if they are siblings, is called birth order (influences) and this too falls out of the creativity of this now rapidly growing brain that is trying to make sense of a very big world in a very short period of time. Right after birth and the explosion onto the stage, his personal big bang, he seemed to have the stage to himself. Now if there are siblings he will probably try to get the spotlight back to himself, but his ordinal position in the family seems to have some slightly predictable effects. ( Ordinal numbers are numbers like first, second, third as opposed to cardinal numbers like one, two and three! Much more is attributed to “birth order” in the literature about Adler than appears in Adler’s own writing. But just for the record, I shall give the traditional views and more probable conclusions that he may draw, but always remember in Adler’s own words, “It may also be the very opposite”.
The oldest child had the whole show to himself. In many families he is the wonder child on whom the sun rises and sets. If you don’t believe me ask a mother to bring in pictures of the family. What I usually see is one album of pictures of the first born as a baby, crawling, starting to walk, etc. Number two child may merit two or three pages in the album. Number three gets one page. Number four gets a baby picture and one with grandma etc. So the first born often was “king for a day” until the second arrives … his biggest threat! So the firstborn is always on the run to keep ahead of the usurper; he is looking over his shoulder all the time with the enemy in hot pursuit. So he may like to have the position of predominance. He may like to be the big wheel. He will probably take an administrative role and like it, but he may not like having his authority questioned. He can be a tough boss because his thing is to keep his throne and crown.

The second born, should they not be too different in age, has a target. There ahead of him in the race of life, is a pacesetter who is ahead. He may take dead aim at Mr. Number One to give him his come down. In the race of life there are winners and losers and I am not about to lose he may say. He will often scratch and claw his way forward to meet the challenge of His Majesty, and plop him right off his throne, (dethronement) grabbing the light for himself. Now he may do this (guess what) in two ways. He may attack the oldest on his own playground and try to take away his Tonka Toys, or he may do a complete sneak attack if he does not feel he can meet the challenge fair and square. So if the firstborn is Mr. Nice Guy (king) second may say I best make a lot of static and get that footlight for myself. So the second born may be very, very driven and ambitious. After all, if your not number one, you’re not AVIS (or is it TILDEN, can’t keep the adds straight). He may also see the hill to be too steep and give up BECAUSE HE IS TOO AMBITIOUS, and decide that if I can’t be the king, at least I can be looked after!

Now comes the BABY. He is the last shot at family. He is so cute. He plays to a constant audience and he loves it. He loves to be watched and cared for and may make a career of it like being an actress. He won’t likely fly in an Apollo Gemini capsule all alone like John Glenn did. You don’t have an audience up there alone.

Believe me, in the real world of the therapist, none of this correlates at all strongly with the difficulty with which we are dealing. Always remember, humans are very creative. It is never (should I say seldom?) specific events or situations that cause the discouragement, but rather how the person uses the events either to move him forward in life, or to excuse him from being a fellow man. The task of an Adlerian understanding, is to ferret out all the subtle tricks that excuse any person, ourselves included, from the task of playing our fair share in the “stream of evolution” or in the words of Meuller, from “Being a blessing”.

This is just a very brief and incomplete look at birth order influences. It is just not a major part in the drama. It may have a bearing and like Sherlock Holmes, we do not want to be counted with Watson who missed “elementary things”. Every clue we can find must be woven into a fabric that describes the unique law of movement in this person who seeks our aid and encouragement!

Much more can be said, but you don’t need to get over fed with this notion as if knowing the birth order is some sort of magical key. It is not. It is just another area for consideration. All of the effort is directed toward identifying how this human being has constructed a fiction that is impeding them from feeling as a fellow man.

Anyone wishing to say more about birth order influences would be welcome to flesh this out a bit more and that would be appreciated.
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  #123  
Old November 16th, 2004, 10:21 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Exclamation Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Another couple of factors to look at are these. What is the age separation between the children? If it is beyond about 5 years, the children have little in common and each child may feel and act like an only child. The only child has only his parents with which to compare himself, and they are so capable. He has no idea that these skills are learned by trial and error, so he may be easily discouraged but since he also has the stage to himself and is not challenged, he may rise to great heights literally. I can not recall with certainty, but someone may know. I believe there was a high concentration of only and first born children in the earliest NASA space program among the flight crew. Also it is often helpful to try to determine how this child might be received in the family. If you see they have 5 children spaced fairly closely and then number six arives 6 years later, would this child be a "mistake" (as in I forgot to take the pill!), or did they want one more chance to have a sweet little baby in the home. Oh the joy of the pitter patter of little feet when mom and dad have more time to give them. So this last child may experience unwelcomeness or it may be totally pampered. You really have to try and look at the whole situation. Look at this one for example. The first born can be the reason the parents got married and if that is the only reason they did, it could be unhappy for the child.
So as you can see, I am not a proponent of placing very much emphasis on birth order and although Adler mentions it a few times in his writing, he does not, in my opinion, give it the emphasis that it receives in less informed writing about his psychology. It is, as I have said, just another factor to be considered from the view point of what conclusions this person may have drawn from where they appeared in the spectrum of the children in their family and that is not given in some textbook formula, but needs to be discerned by careful consideration, investigation, and confirmation. Someone,perhaps Adler said, when you are making your conclusions (he may have said guesses) about a person's style of life, write them on the board in chalk with an erasor in your other hand!
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  #124  
Old November 17th, 2004, 04:14 PM
Henry Stein Henry Stein is offline
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Default Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

George, judging by the e-mail requests for information, and the search engine statistics on the Classical Adlerian Psychology web site, birth order seems to be the most popular Adlerian essay topic assigned to college and high school students. Easy to comprehend, with a seductively simple "typology," it has spawned a number of popular books and a few serious research projects to either prove or disprove the theory. Frank Sulloway's rather Darwinian Born to Rebel... is perhaps the most ambitious undertaking to date. Most of the non-Adlerian pop-psychology authors has distended birth order far beyond Adler's intention, almost raising it to the level of the "silver bullet" of psychology. Recently, however, Judith Harris, in The Nurture Assumption has developed a career out of attacking Sulloway and denying the influences of birth order as well as parenting styles.

All of this "tempest in a teapot" misses the wisdom of Adler's contribution. Birth order is only one of several influences that may (or may not) be significant in any specific case. Picture a tree with five conceptual roots reaching down into the soil: birth order, parental attitudes, organ inferiority, gender role, and social/economic situation. Any of these influences may seem to be predominant as "raw material" for that marvelous, mysterious variable, the creative power of the child. The uniqueness of each individual cannot be adequately embraced with one narrow typology; understanding the individual style of life requires intuitive and artistic capability, as well as extensive clinical experience. As a psychotherapist, I only use birth order when it fits the early childhood history of the client, and would be helpful in an explanation of common tendencies.

For a graphic representation that illustrates the role of birth order aligned with other influences, see The Style of Life Tree at http://go.ourworld.nu/hstein/tree.htm. An Adlerian Overview of Birth Order Characteristics at http://go.ourworld.nu/hstein/brithord.htm also includes family constellation information about twins, adopted, "ghost children," only boy among girls, only girl among boys, all boys, and all girls.
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  #125  
Old November 17th, 2004, 09:49 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Thumbs up Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Henry I really appreciate your posting. I had great trepidation about doing a posting on "birth order" because it is so over worked and over blown in the "pop-psychology" about Adler. Yes indeed, we are dealing with the unique creativity of every person and therefore of every child on earth that is not cognitively impaired. I do hope people will follow the links to your home page with the wealth of accurate information provided there.
We will be looking at other influences in this little childs life, all developed by the child in the "playroom of his own creativity". There is very much more to be developed even at this very basic level of understanding because this is a "field theory" but the field we are studying is the human mind and soul and the life of the soul or "Seleenleben" (soul life in German).
Stay posted for subsequent developments. I can only do little bits at a time and then I have to wait for those Greek Muses to strike my mind.
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Last edited by George Neeson; November 18th, 2004 at 08:48 PM.. Reason: grammar
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  #126  
Old November 19th, 2004, 07:44 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Default Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Well the next area to look at is the influence of mother and father. What does this child conclude from the physical touch, tone of voice, attitude toward each other, and their attitude toward this child? Remember this child is getting up higher now and looking around. He is filling in the blanks in his understanding about the world above him with child like conclusions (what else could he do, he is still a child?), that produce the "Private Logic" that will haunt his every step for the rest of his days and that will guide him like the autopilot used to do on my aircraft unless it is intercepted by a clear and gentle evaluation as should occur in a complete Adlerian study analysis. Try landing an aircraft with the autopilot on or the computer flight management system not reprogrammed, and you will find it more than challenging! So I really believe that even the best functioning human can benefit from such a rich experience because not all the ideas they carry have a basis in adult logic.

So watch for a brief introduction to the parental influences to follow. This is a huge subject and we will only be able to hit the mountain peaks so to speak, but it will be a fun endeavour. I have my not-yet-conscious computer in my brain working on this now. Let's see what comes.

Link soon for the next installment. (Ok, it's a little commercial to get you to come back ... why not?)
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  #127  
Old November 22nd, 2004, 12:09 AM
Gary Josselyn Gary Josselyn is offline
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Default Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

To borrow a quote from Doris Waters, an Adlerian practioner, Adlerian Psychology "is a one piece puzzle." You don't really understand the parts until you understand the whole.
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  #128  
Old November 22nd, 2004, 07:52 AM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Exclamation Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Gary that is the on going problem of trying to teach this psychology. Someone new to it can only be given a taste of its riches. I sure don't want to sound elitest nor do I wish to give the impression that the psychology is stratospheric. It just takes long and dedicated study to get the flavour of it. Thanks for your posting.
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  #129  
Old November 22nd, 2004, 10:46 AM
Henry Stein Henry Stein is offline
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Default Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Gary, perhaps you could tell us more about Doris Waters by posting a message about her in the "Adlerian Family Tree and Timeline" thread.
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  #130  
Old November 27th, 2004, 05:14 PM
George Neeson George Neeson is offline
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Lightbulb Re: From the ground up ... an Adlerian primer??

Mother:
From the moment of birth and perhaps even before, the single most important influence in any child's life is usually the mother. I will make the assumption for this posting that the mother is present to the child for this posting although that is not always the case. So what is this child experiencing?
Suppose mother is always warm and always present. Will the child learn that the world is a wonderful safe place? Yes that may happen, but another child may learn that that is their entitlment. The world must be at their beck and call. We must fix all their problems and all they must do is show a bit of discomfort.

What if mom is very anxious and nervous? She holds this little child like delicate crystal. What might a child learn from this experience? Well it may conclude that the world is a very dangerous place and you have to be very very careful. But then it may learn that it is a Prince who is to be upheld by every body and treated always with "kid gloves".

What if mom is neglectful? The child may conclude that no one will care about them and thier "private logic" will be filled with a deep sense of being an Alien in a hostile country. They may also be filled with rage a forever more seek their revenge on this nasty world! They may conclude that since they were so short changed that the "world owes them big time" in their VANITY, or that they must just take what they want (sounds like the set up for a career in crime) and that they are entitled to.

Suppose they are unwanted, then what? They may conclude the world is a hostile place and that they will always be unloved and alone. Or they may seek to use love as the "coin of their little realm" and then they are to be worshiped. They may even seek a world that adores them. Perhaps they should be on film and we can all look up to them. They will probably always feel disconnected from humanity, or then again they may want always to be admired and looked up to.

Suppose mother is very angry and constantly screams and yells at the children and the husband?They may conclude that they are utter failures and nobody will ever be pleased with them or they may scream their neurotic rage against the community of mankind.

Suppose mother then is over-protective? Well that world may seem very dangerous also but then all others must protect them and their own mistakes must then be forgiven always. Or they may conclude that "anything goes" and no matter what they do they are quite entitled to do this! This conclusion could be the private logic of a very abusive person.

What if mother abuses the child emotionally or physically? Well they may conclude that the whole world is scarey and there just is no safe place. They may conclude that they are evil and thus deserved this treatment. They may conclude however, that they will be the most loving person on earth!

So you see, there is no cookbook on private logic. You must look at all the chilhood influences one by one, and find the conclusions this person has drawn to excuse them from the task of social interest. The task of Adlerian psychology is once more, to understand the unique conclusions of this unique individual based on their childhood experiences. If you are looking for a recipe book on psychology, choose a psychology other than that of Adler because, after all, this is Individual Psychology!

The common thread that runs through all of this is that the constructions are generally antithetical. The Life style is very much north and south and not east and west, so to speak. A key to remember I emphasize again, whatever may seem to be the valid conclusion as you experience what the patient shares with you, always consider the very opposite of what you deem rational may be the conclusion they have drawn! As you start to think in this manner you become more able to untangle some of the "tricks" the neurotic uses.
How about some postings or questions about the influence of the maternal style in the child?
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Last edited by George Neeson; November 27th, 2004 at 07:45 PM.. Reason: emphasis
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