Thread: Desires
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Unread February 6th, 2006, 08:35 PM
Stephen Lankton Stephen Lankton is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 117
Default Re: Desires

Actually, I don't ever do that. I help clients' reach and fulfill their needs and the so called "unrealistic" dreams go away. For instance, let's say we have a female client, 44, [I’m changing a few details throughout for privacy protection] who is wishing and dreaming in hopes of getting a job as a TV anchor host (to replace a retiring anchor). This woman is NOT qualified in my humble opinion as she has no previous job history in TV, public speaking, etc. She is chatty and friendly, to be sure, but that is most likely not going to make her resume rise above all the other great candidates for a nation TV program. We could certainly say it is an unrealistic dream that she gets that specific job. To make it more interesting, she had been to seminars by Deepak Chopra, Gary Zukav, and other 'gurus' and spoken to them personally about the right way to pray, visualize, direct intentions, etc., to make this come true. But, to her surprise, that ‘magic’ was not working! And she is not psychotic or terribly childlike in any other obvious area. But, she came to see me to find out if I could pin point what she was missing or doing wrong in her mental ‘magic.’

The real trick was to discover what sort of "real" needs are being unfulfilled such that those irrational attempts to fill a dream like that existed. Remember, UNCOMMON THERAPY. In that book Haley illustrated how Erickson is prone to select interventions based on the developmental stage the client needs to better handle. So, you need to ask what developmental tasks are being unmet by this client. One was dating and having a meaningful relationship; one was not having any job at all (did I mention that she was unemployed) and especially a job where she was noticed and appreciated; and another was recognizing that she doesn't and never did have to perform and be perfect to get loved. So, the therapy was all about making interventions that would help her bring about those accomplishments while never thinking that I would take her "dream" away. Were she to think that I would take her dream away or challenge it, she would have a HUGE resistance to seeing me and probably would have discontinued therapy right off the bat.
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