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Unread June 26th, 2008, 12:23 AM
Sandra Paulsen Sandra Paulsen is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Bainbridge Island WA
Posts: 207
Default Re: Introverted perps

I'll be happy to talk about this subject in general terms -- but they may or may not apply to you. I don't have enough info, but I'll try to make the points generally useful. Additionally, I only have a little time now, but I can get started and add more later -- it's a big subject.

I'm thinking you mean that you want me to explain introjects, rather than introverts, because the subject raised is about taking in meanness.

At the moment of trauma by a perpetrator, a child learns about meanness, cruelty, sadism, or maybe just selfishness....and they learn to be treated as if they are an object. They see themselves as the perpetrator saw them - an object to be used. At the same time, they may feel attached to the perpetrator, if the perpetrator is a primary caretaker, or a source of something resembling love.

So it is quite handy to be able to have one part of the self in charge of feeling attached, and another part in charge of holding the meanness. This is very clever, because it solves two problems, in a way, maintaining the attachment or "love" such as it is, and holding the meanness, which the child unavoidable learned about, and puts it over there, in that part that doesn't seem to be oneself. the unsolvable double bind, how can one be loved by someone who hurts one, is solved by only having one end of it in conscious mind at a time. Or maybe one part "owns" the attachment, and one part holds the meanness at bay.

Now, parts that hold meanness often are pushed away, hated, by other parts of the self, because both mean part and other parts may get confused, and think the mean part is ACTUALLY the perpetrator, not an internal likeness of one. At the time of trauma it was adaptive, but decades later, its like having an obsolete job description.

Ran out of time, will follow up another time about treatment and some other points. In the meantime, if this is unclear, do ask. Again, its a general description and as I always say, the kids don't get the manual, and therefore every self system is a little different.

If this is disturbing to any reader, well, take it to therapy, or invite parts of self in charge of forgetting to just let this slip away until the time is right.
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