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-   -   Sleeping with the Client (http://www.behavior.net/bolforums/showthread.php?t=114)

bmurray March 20th, 2005 05:53 PM

Re: Sleeping with the Client
 
sleeping with the client is a little misleading...what are interesting clients ? Sorry that I asked but I wonder how someone could listen to the problems of other people seven to eight hours a day without nodding off. Listening is quite challenging and I wonder how one can become an active listener.
sincerely
Barbara ;)

Lillian March 30th, 2005 04:16 AM

Re: Sleeping with the Client
 
This discussion irritates me, perhaps even makes me angry. I can understand that some clients may not have new and interesting stories for the counselors.. but do you realise how much a client has to pay( in a private practice), just that someone at least tries to listen!! Maybe a knock or bell for every euro that falls in your pocket may keep you awake!!

I think, that when you find yourself sleepy with a client, it is your responsibility to search for what is causing that and open the discussion with the client. Find an approach that keeps you more active, be creative

greetings, Lillian (the Netherlands)

KounselorK April 7th, 2005 02:54 PM

Re: Sleeping with the Client
 
I used to have the same problem. I finally discovered that this would happen regardless of sleep or diet. For me, the problem came with where my attention was. I would always get sleepy when I would allow myself to follow the client story instead of focusing on what it all meant in regard to my client's issue.

EDeRosa April 9th, 2005 03:39 PM

Re: Sleeping with the Client
 
I guess you have to be very sincere with your patient/client, and tell him how one´s feeling, ( if falling asleep ). Some people are really boring, I maybe that´s part of the problem they are trying to resolve.

emjaybee May 22nd, 2005 08:26 AM

Re: Sleeping with the Client
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lillian
This discussion irritates me, perhaps even makes me angry. I can understand that some clients may not have new and interesting stories for the counselors.. but do you realise how much a client has to pay( in a private practice), just that someone at least tries to listen!! Maybe a knock or bell for every euro that falls in your pocket may keep you awake!!

I think, that when you find yourself sleepy with a client, it is your responsibility to search for what is causing that and open the discussion with the client. Find an approach that keeps you more active, be creative

greetings, Lillian (the Netherlands)

Lillian, thanks for your honesty about your irritaion. I notice you are a student. As a student I hel a belief similar to yours. Then experience with clients taught me that some of them are actually boring. No, human pain and suffering is not boring, but there are some clients who will drone on about the same thing week after week. It can be soporific. Plus, therapist are human. We get tired and sleepy for the same reasons as everyone else. Several people mentioned lack of sleep the night before. Personally, I have a chronic medical condition that causes total exhaustion by mid-afternoon. I struggle with this on a daily basis. Please don't chastise others for being huma.

Now, that said. I agree with you that the therapist has a responsibility to find out what is making them sleepy and address it. In my case I am working with my doctors to find ways of coping. There is no cure for my illness. We can treat the symptoms and I have to find ways of coping. I've used every suggestion mentioned in this thread and others.
In other cases, I agree with the others who said they examine what it is about that client that makes them sleep and address it. If it's something within the therapist s/he needs to deal with it. If it's something related to the client, avoidance, the way s/he presents, it needs to be addressed with the client.

tonymoco June 9th, 2005 01:02 PM

Re: Sleeping with the Client
 
I find it both fascinating and disappointing that none in a group of psychology "professionals" has commented on the two most glaring aspects of this thread:

-- First, that you were initially atttracted by the sexual innuendo of the title and the hope that it would be a chance to discuss/vent/react/confess around the real issue of your desires to have sex with your clients. I don't know WHY you apparently have such difficulty discussing that issue (fear of peer condemnation about something that is very human?), but you do.

--Second, the many instances in which your own "feelings of sleepiness" have to do with your own unresolved issues/experiences...places where you went to sleep (literally or figuratively) as a child in the face of overwhelming emotional challenges. Regardless of what triggers them, they are YOUR feelings of sleepiness. Attempts to find a client based explanation for them --especially as it relates to a judgement of the individual as "boring" - are irresponsible.

These are the kinds of professional patterns of denial which justifiably give therapists a bad name.

Stuart Moore September 8th, 2005 08:07 PM

Re: Sleeping with the Client
 
I'm going to ignore the last entry into this thread because it's either a joke or it's someone who totally misses the point. There are clients who will put me to sleep if I let them. That's not a function of my lack of sleep or lack of caffiene. I can have my next client come in and can be very interested in what they are saying.

There are other client's who will bore me to death. I don't think your doing those clients a favor by ignoring these feelings and pretending to be interested.

Suppose you say (in a non blaming, non judgemental, just an observation) that "you know I'm getting really bored here and I just know that I need to tell you that." Therapy is not a place where you win a lot of points by conforming to the social conventions, it needs to be real.

Sometimes those clients need to learn social skills. Other times there is a real issue that they are avoiding by droning on about something else.

My two cents worth.

xippurg September 29th, 2005 03:52 AM

Re: Sleeping with the Client
 
To sleep with arbitrary client is disgusting. It's obvious. Real pervert may consider this question to be serious. But I can't.

Moana N. Tofi February 8th, 2006 02:10 AM

Re: Sleeping with the Client
 
Sleeping with the Client??? Well I find it interesting as I was once a client of your kind of profession. Unfortunately, I was not one of those boring one, but one that it was impossible to predict.

I smile a lot when I talked about my situation. That smile is a comfort and help me to cope with my fears. However, I was jokingly asked by the therapist to leave the room as there was nothing wrong with me. Again I agree with student that mentioned the cost of therapy yet was not part of consideration.

Anyway, perhaps an honest mention of the boring part may of help to both you and the client. This might not be the case for some clients, but I'm sure some client will appreciate that honesty. It can be a stepping stone for some people to start creating new ideas of explaining themselves let alone find help. My thought about been honest its more likely you are showing that person the mirror of themselves. That was the case for me when a friend who was not a therapist bluntly told me that when I was trying to explain my situation.

Some client probably don't like what they are looking at when you show that mirror and decide, its time to put on another act that might entertain you and stay awake.

Thanks

alexandra_k February 9th, 2006 03:45 AM

Re: Sleeping with the Client
 
> Regardless of what triggers them, they are YOUR feelings of sleepiness. Attempts to find a client based explanation for them --especially as it relates to a judgement of the individual as "boring" - are irresponsible.

Lol! And thank you. I'm glad someone else was thinking that.

I think that it might be worth exploring whether there is something about the clients interpersonal style... But only AFTER considering whether it is the result of some kind of transference.

And as for the 'boring' judgement...

I agree 100% that it is attitudes / comments like that that give therapists / the process of therapy a bad name. And I am really very pleased that this has occured to someone else too.

:-)

As for the last post to the thread...

Er...

Have you read the thread?

The actual nature of the question might suprise you...


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