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stillsearching April 11th, 2009 05:33 PM

Does treatment always take a long time in ddnos?
I get so discouraged. I have been in therapy for years and years. It took me along time to get sober, a long time to leave my abusive relationship. etc. We didn't discover I even had ddnos until some of the other garbage cleared. I was too busy trying to survive. I still have trouble beleiving I have it at all, (even though I saw seen it and experienced it). The trouble for me is that we have to wait for me to stabilize and my stabilizations ae far and few between. I wrote quite awhile ago about doing EMDR and not knowing I had ddnos and the trauma it caused me. It was truly terrible and had to get past for days.

I am at the point where I am stuck and I have been like this for a couple of years. Does it take a long time to deal with ddnos?? I can't even handle the basics of taking care of my inner kids. Sometimes I still thnk I must be making it all up.

Thanks for taking the time to help me Sandra. I did order your book. I am a bit afraid to read it though.. I get scared..

Sandra Paulsen April 11th, 2009 09:12 PM

Re: Does treatment always take a long time in ddnos?
Stabilization (again, in general, don't know about you) can take a number of forms. Let me list a few ways stabilization can be enhanced.
1) the awareness that all parts of self are there for a reason, and that reason can be understood and appreciated. If the function is, then a new job can be found, always with appreciation.
2) one can make a list of things that enhance ones life, or that one is grateful for. It can be anything from big stuff to little stuff. A list of resources might sound like this: my dog, my ability to order from a French menu, my health, a blue sky, this round rock, the smell of lavender, my basketball shooting friends....whatever enhances ones life. If one takes a moment to be present to those resources, to allow them to be in awareness with some vividness (like the color of a leaf, the smell of the dog, whatever), then one might just feel a tad different than before. The more one does this,the more resourced one is.
3) internal conflicts need to be mediated. takes a therapist often.
4) for those people who are free to and willing to enjoy a spiritual life, spiritual resources are often the highest resource, the most radiant. That's hard for those who have experienced spiritual trauma, but worth a shot, because the payoff is big. that's why I have indigenous spiritual song on my website.
5) exercise
6) sleep
7) self care
8) grounding. grounding is huge. Feel the dirt. Thetexture of a tree trunk. The taste of salt. The feeling of rain on ones face. Pet the dog, or cat. My friend and colleague Tim Iistowanohpataakiiwa is a traditional Native American spiritual guide. He says to have a small amount of dirt in a container from whereever we were born, the place that is home. No matter what family has done, the earth is our mother. We can feel the earth.
9) containment imagery. There is something called the Paulsen Two-Step, that involves a) letting memories go into a container, not forever, but until the time is right, and b) asking parts to tuck in with the PROMISE of following up in therapy and giving them airtime to talk about their concerns.
10) a therapist or a very together client could orient the parts to the present year, city, and body. Use a calendar, count fingers for the kid parts, use a map. make it very concrete. Most of these are in the book but with illustrations. Hope you enjoy it.

There is a start.

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