I am working as a social work advocate, not therapist, for an 8 year old and her foster parents. The 8 year old was exposed to pornography and was most likely sexually abused prior to foster care. She was sexually acting out with younger children but this behavior has mostly stopped. Recently, the foster mother "caught" her in the bathroom masterbating. The foster mother was very upset about it and told the child it was "nasty" and that she could hurt herself. I explained to the foster mother that masterbation is a safe, private way for this child to explore her feelings and not act out with others. The Foster mother said she understood. Then the foster father became very upset and said that his own, grown daughter recently told him that when she got married her husband was upset that she wasn't a virgin. She was but her hyman had been broken from masterbation. The foster parents are concerned that this chid will break her hyman. They worry that the child is not honest and charges could be brought against them or a family member if a medical exam is performed and it is found that the child's hymen is broken. Any advise?
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