Hello Lidia, You've made some interesting statements that I'd like to comment on (trying to be helpful without psychologizing). >I as a professional woman will not change the way I think. OK. You've defined the problem as other people not wanting to listen. If you refuse to change and keep making other people the problem, do you think you're likely to connect with them in a mutually beneficial or trusting way? Do you suppose they don't notice your rigidity? Is it possible that their refusal to listen is a response to that rigidity? I ask these questions because in my own life they've been very important in helping me see my own rigid patterns. I used to rail about people being stupid and not listening. Then I started paying attention to what they were saying (in both words and non-verbal cues). It was amazing - when I started listening others did, too. I'm still not very good at it, but thought I'd offer some of my own rather painful experience for you to consider in light of your own. > I am too intelligent to believe what other people have told me. I wonder ... has anyone ever accused you of being supercilious or insulting? Perhaps you are very intelligent, but there is a form of intelligence that begins with respect and continues with humility. It might be possible that what other people tell you is true (at least for them). How do we create mutually trusting relationships? Is it by denigrating others' views? >People have changed from ten years ago. They think they are right in their thinking. There's nothing new about that! And they are, indeed, right. The hard part is to see their truth and let them know you understand. Once you've done that you might find them more willing to listen to alternatives (e.g., your views). Without that connection, though, I've found communication is pretty limited. >I think in this vast workd we live in some people only think about themselves. They do not want to hear it. There's nothing new about this either. Well, I hope this isn't offensive. I mean to offer a useful perspective, not a poke in the eye. Respectfully, Dave
Replies:
|
| Behavior OnLine Home Page | Disclaimer |
Copyright © 1996-2004 Behavior OnLine, Inc. All rights reserved.