Before I begin, I'd like to state up front that I'm not a psychologist or therapist, nor have I recieved any formal training in those areas of study. However, I am somewhat familiar with online relationships. In addition, I'd like to state that I'm new to this forum and I don't yet know the codes of conduct so I'm slightly hesitant to speak my mind... but I'm going to do so anyway. Someone, please do let me know if I've stepped out of line. Might I suggest that you may not have an obsession. What you may have is a Need -- perhaps even a Great Need, and now you have found a means of meeting that need via your online relationship. Good for you. In doing the work of puzzling through why you feel the way you do, you may find it helpful to first sit down and figure out what needs (and wants) your online relationship is fulfilling within you. Perhaps it is the need/want to feel listened to, or respected, or be perceived as attractive, or vibrant, or knowledgable, or refreshed in spirit, or passionately alive. None of these needs within themselves is necessarily a negative thing and all of us have similar needs to a certain degree. Next, you might find it helpful to note why you feel you should be or are distressed about your online relationship. Is it because the relationship occurred online as opposed to a face to face interaction? Is it because of the time you invest in maintaining the online relationship? Are you neglecting other areas of your life or betraying your own personal convictions in order to continue the relationship? Where is your discomfort? You may find it helpful to reference Mr. Suler's articles on online relationships to help provide some background expertise. I'm certainly not suggesting that you apply a stamp of approval to your actions, (whatever they may be), and tell yourself that whatever makes you feel good is okay. But I'm equally as hesitant to apply a stamp of disapproval. You are doing what you're doing because something in that doingness is of vital importance to you. Before a trained clinician can help you deal with the outcome of that problem you need to understand what created it in the first place. Some people are adept at figuring that out on their own. Others require assistance from those in the psychological field. Good Luck.
Replies:
There are no replies to this message.
|
| Behavior OnLine Home Page | Disclaimer |
Copyright © 1996-2004 Behavior OnLine, Inc. All rights reserved.