Online games--it appears they're quite popular with some. I happened across some exchages regarding the games and their effect on relationships. My apology for the length of the post but I didn't want to edit much: Female 1: Male 2: Male 1: Male 3: When online gaming first started, I bought Diablow of all things, met friends online even though the game was lame, moved on to UO when it came out with these friends, then got into phase 2 of the EQ beta. By phase 4 I was playing AND guiding, and in final, I became a senior guide and still tried to play and "keep up" with my friends. It took a I made us an appointment with a marriage counselor, I deleted EQ totally from my hard drive, I made arrangements for someone to take care of our 2 year old for a couple of days, then I surprised my wife with a short trip for a couple of nights to a nice hotel room and nice restaurants. Nothing magical happened, but it helped put us back on
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Male 1:
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I was totally hooked on the online game, Everquest, since October 99. For the first 6 months I was totally addicted to this game. I played this game every night, every possible minute that I wasn't at work. I would play from
the time I got off work until late at night, sometimes 3 or 4 in the morning and I had to go back to work at 7am! I was addicted bad, it is a great game though. But she was getting mad. Soon though, she stopped complaining about it and I thought that was good cause now she left me alone to play. But I finally woke up and realized that something may be going on.
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I not sure about anything you have said about your wife but I do have a comment about Everquest (otherwise known as EverCrack), it is very addicting and it definitely put a wedge in my marriage. My husband (who now has left
me) started playing Ultima Online, he was flirting with women in the game and eventually was making arrangements to meet up with one of them that happened to only live about an hours drive away. I realized what was going on and started asking questions. He never did end up meeting her and he called everything off. He said he wanted me to play the online games with him so we could do this together. I agreed and started playing Ultima Online, it was very addicting, I loved it, but then he became bored with
that game and moved on to Asherson's Call, he left me behind when my character became strong. I would not follow him to Asheron's Call and continued playing Ultima without him. Then he decided lets try Everquest, that was fine, but I did not have the video card in my computer for it to
work, so I was left out. Once again he became addicted and started flirting with women, when I mentioned this to him, he became very with drawn and only wanting his space. I gave him that space, we went into counseling both alone and together and two months later he left me. He said he wanted to discover other women and that I was not fulfilling what he wanted in life. From what I could see the only thing he wanted in life was his online games.
I miss him terribly and have tried to reconcile with him, but he is not breaking his walls down to give me a chance.
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It's funny. I have a friend who plays ultima online constantly. 34 years old, he sits alone in his dirty apartment, gets stoned, and plays all night long. In the game, he's powerful, has a wife, makes tons of money, and has lots of people who admire him. He has none of this in real-life. His character has a MUCH better life than he does. It's bizarre.
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Dude these online games are an ALTERNATE REALITY, and Ultima Online, Everquest, and Asheron's Call are only the 1st generation of these games. There are a bunch of others due out in the next 6-18 months that are going to be even bigger and more engrossing. They are totally addicting and a single guy I know at work does exactly the same thing you described (except for the getting stoned part cause we're in the military). He comes to work, talks about the game all day and researches game info on the dozens of web sites about the game, then plays all day and half the night when he gets off. It's easy to lose focus and you really can lose touch with reality, as I did for almost a year. Believe it or not, I can actually remember choosing to play this freaking game over sex! In my early weeks of the game
I can remember playing all day after work, and my wife is dropping hints for sex at about 10:30pm and I just nod and keep on going! The next thing I know it's 3:00 am and I have to be at work in 4 hours! I've played computer games since the days of the Atari but they always wore off in a few weeks. These games do not!! Anyway I have finally been shocked back into reality. It feels like I've had ice cold water dumped on my head in 40 degree weather, heh. I just hope my wife hasn't passed the point of no return.....
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Mike, I rarely post [here]. However, I was almost exactly where you were 18 months ago. I played AD & D in the service 20 or so years ago, and my wife and 3 other couples even had a D&D night every week for several years where would we would all play. She enjoyed the game and the company of our friends. She and I also played various board games quite a bit, especially in the winter when we couldn't get outside as much with each other.
hell of a toll on my marriage, but I was too absorbed in the damn game to notice. I can really relate to your statement that you even gave up sex for the game, I found myself "nodding at 10:30" just like you, but playing all night. We took a vacation together about 2 months after
final release, and I spent as much time as I could at my brother's computer trying to stay "caught up" on the game and the guide program. Lots of the guides were women, and since I was the server senior, they would call me at all hours to discuss issues. I never, ever flirted in the game and had nothing but a business or friend relationship with
any guides, but it sure didn't look good. My wife let it go on way too long, and it almost destroyed our marriage. I take full blame for anything that may have happened at that time. I do not think my wife was unfaithful, but even had she been, it would have been my fault.
the road to a solid marriage. Oddly enough, after being quit from EQ for 18 months, I reinstalled it a few weeks ago when I had some down time from work. I tried it a while, even got into a few good groups, but ultimately, I thought it was pretty lame. I haven't played again since then, but even if I do, it sure won't be at the expense of the important stuff in my life.
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