Incredible and wise advice is given in this letter: "So you must first show me how to contain feelings and still behave intelligently by your example in relation to "You must first show me how to contain feelings...." Bob
me. To show me this, you need to show by your example how to patiently stay with these intense feelings and still
remain fairly intelligent before I ever will be able to talk about how bad I felt. When I can then talk after seeing
your good example, I can also listen better to your explanations. And then I can use our talks together in a
self-aware and more productive way so that I can begin to talk about what I feel and need. "
is implicit when strong countertransference feelings are
encountered by a therapist. It is implicit in the work of
Kernberg, Kohut, Carl Rogers, and recently by Marsha Linehan in her treatment of those suffering from BPD.
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