BY READING YOUR LETTER IT'S VERY CLEAR YOU LOVE THIS CHILD AND ARE EXTREMELY CONCERNED,THAT ALREADY PUTS YOU ABOVE "JUST" BEING THE STEP MOM.CHILDREN LEARN FROM OUR ACTIONS,KEEP TEACHING THE ABILITY TO LOVE,IT WILL PAY OFF IN THE LONG RUN!THIS IS A CHILD WHO HAS HAD A LOT OF DRAUMA IN HER LIFE AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE.AN AGE WHERE SHE WAS DEVELOPING SKILLS ON PROPERLY DEALING WITH EMOTIONS AS ALL CHILDREN DO(TEMPER TANTRUMS,CRYING OVER BEING TIRED,BORED) SO DURING THIS TIME WHEN HER BRAIN WAS JUST BEGINNING TO DEVELOP THESE ABILITIES,SHE WAS STRUCK WITH A LOT OF TRAUMA,WHICH IN A SENSE CONFUSSED HER EMOTIONS, SHE RESPONDED BY WATCHING OTHERS AND MIXING THIS WITH HER OWN.WHEN SHE ACTS OUT IN VIOLENCE THIS TO ME WOULD INDICATE MUCH MORE THAN WANTING TO HURT SOMETHING. I THINK IT'S A COMBINATION OF FEELINGS OF ANGER AND FEAR.SHE APPEARS TO BE AFRAID TO GET CLOSE TO THINGS DUE TO THE FEAR OF LOSING THEM SO SHE ACTS OUT BY HITTING THEM,WHICH FOOLS HER OWN EMOTIONS INTO BELIEVING SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THINGS.THIS IS A VERY TROUBLED LITTLE GIRL, THE BEST APPROACH WOULD BE TO FIRST NOT GET ANGRY WITH HER,LET HER KNOW THAT SHE ISN'T BAD,HER ACTIONS(BEHAVIOR)IS INAPPROPRIATE,DEMONSTRATE LOVE ANDKINDNESS,EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT EVERYTHING EVEN IF IT'S THE WAY YOU FEEL WHEN YOU WAKE UP TO A BEAUTIFUL DAY,BE POSITIVE TOWARD HER,ENCOURAGE HER TO SHARE FEELINGS,WHEN SHE DOES SOMETHING OUT OF NORM ASK HER HOW SHE FELT WHILE DOING IT,TELL HER HOW HER ACTIONS AFFECTED THE OTHER PERSON OR THING.ABOVE ALL BE SURE TO TELL HER HOW WONDERFUL SHE IS.SHE NEEDS A GOOD STABLE ENVIRONMENT WITH PEOPLE SHE FEELS SAFE WITH AND LOVED.THIS IS NOT SOMETHING THAT IS GOING TO BE CURED OVER NIGHT,BE PATIENT IT WILL PAY OFF. WISHING YOU THE BEST,
JENNI
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