Your response helps me formulate what I'm trying to say. I don't believe Nathanson explicitly makes the point (even though he does everything but) but it is the fact that shame IS inevitable that makes learning about it so vital. The nature of the mechanism quarantees shame affect will be stirred incessently througout life (unless you eschew all possibility of positive affect, i.e. shame avoidance). Depending on how we are taught to handle it, shame can either control our life or be just one of those things like bad weather we learn to weather.